For those unaware, I’m a school administrator by trade and today officially marks the first day of school for our 2023-2024 year. That means that the last two weeks have been a bit wild and all the writing I was hoping to accomplish during that time got wiped out with work, more work, and equal parts decision fatigue and brain fog mixed in for good measure. I’ll have a write up next week about The Big Lebowski, which continues a theme of revisiting 90s films from my childhood, but for now you’ll receive in this newsletter (if you choose to continue) some random thoughts / concerns / celebrations that have been percolating in my mind as of late. Enjoy…

• An increasing amount of people in my neighborhood are growing wildflowers that are taking up much of their lawns which are now creeping chaotically over the sidewalks. Are we sure this trend isn’t simply a chance to be lazy? Some folks will argue that it’s more beautiful, thoughtful and intentional about the environment, etc. All I know is that I’m ready to take a machete with me during future dog walks.

• As I’ve been writing more consistently and publicly, I’ve noticed this awkward interaction start to happen when I see people in public. No matter if it is a friend, family member, or acquaintance, every once in a while a person will ask how I am doing, mention that they see my writing, and then follow up with some variation of “But I didn’t read the last thing you wrote.” I never know what to say and I never know why it is said! While I do receive some analytics from my website, I can’t tell which individuals are reading my stuff or not, so there’s no need for a confession. If you are reading, I’m grateful and appreciate it, and if you are not then you don’t need to mention that you aren’t reading. We can talk about other things, please!

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• The temperatures on our planet continue to escalate and the only solace I can find is in the slushie. There’s science behind this too, folks. I generally hate summers in Oklahoma due to the excessive heat but it does give me an excuse to venture out for some of my favorite drinks and here are a few recommendations: the Rooster Booster Freezoni at QuikTrip, the Coca-Cola slushie from Kum & Go, the Red Bull Slush and the Cherry Limeade Slush from Sonic. The heat may kill me someday, but at least it will go down a little bit cooler with a slushie in my hot, dead hand.

• Another trend that I’ve noticed, at least in Tulsa, is the growing number of men I am seeing riding on scooters. I have to tell you, I am absolutely an advocate for this movement. I don’t know what is going on, but on the road and in my neighborhood, I bet you that I have seen at least 15 guys (this past week alone) sitting on scooters of all sizes just living their best lives. I have also never seen any of these people disgruntled, I bet it is impossible to have road rage when you’re sitting with that much joy in your heart. This, in fact, may be the cure all for toxic masculinity…

• Finally, we bought a new recliner this past month and I just need to tell you all that is the wisest purchase I have made in the last few years. There’s nothing sexy about it. All it has is the old school manual handle, it reclines, and it rocks back and forth. That is all it is capable of doing, but it does it oh so well. I can feed my son easily in the chair, I can turn it toward my television and kick back, I can read in it, and I have napped in it. Sometimes life can be so simple, y’all.

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  That’s all for today, come back next week and we’ll be exploring a Coen Brothers classic with a dude who abides.

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I’ve never been to a live magic show, but I would bet the coupled experience of surprise and bewilderment would parallel what I felt in 1993 when I watched Jurassic Park for the first time. I can recall every moment vividly: My parents, my sister, and I went to the Cinema 6 at Eastland Mall for an evening showing. To get to the theater you had walk into the expansive mall followed by a long descent down an escalator, which if you had asked me as a child how high of a drop it was, I would have told you easily ten stories. It emptied out into a massive food court that to my kid brain offered every food option desirable (my 11 year old palette was quite limited), and within that space was the Cinema 6 Theater. Getting to the movies was its own awe-inspiring experience. We didn’t go to the theater much as a family and while I remember a lot of solo trips either with my mom or my dad, as a whole unit we didn’t venture there much. If my mom joined the rest of us for a film then you knew it was a true spectacle.1

And by God, Jurassic Park was a spectacle! I’ve had a few older friends tell me about watching Star Wars for the first time in a theater, their eyes lighting up quickly with a hint and a hope at recapturing that unrestrained excitement that only children have because they didn’t know such things could be rendered onscreen. That’s exactly how I feel about the original Jurassic Park. I think that might also explain why, thirty years and five sequels later, they are still trying to seize that lightning in a bottle once again.2 Creatives and executives in this franchise would have done well to listen to the wisdom preached by Ian Malcolm in the original, as they too were “so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.”

Do you remember the first time you saw the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? Depending on when and where you watched it will of course affect your experience, but we are all familiar with the scene: Our main characters riding in the Jeep on the open terrain, the music building in the background. Then Dr. Sattler (Laura Dern), so laser-focused on the out of place and out of time vegetation, is pulled into focus by Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) to the true wonder of the park. And that’s when that iconic John Williams score crescendos as the camera tracks toward the brachiosaurus!

This is precisely the magic of a Steven Spielberg film and him performing at the peak of his powers, recreating that childhood sense of wonder and astonishment. At that time, audiences had never seen computer-generated images of that caliber, and while the movie quickly turns into a monster show and morality tale about bastardized science, I will always appreciate Spielberg’s attempts to wow his viewers. He succeeds over and over again throughout this film with the introduction of the T-Rex, velociraptors, dilophosaurus and many other creatures.

JP is an iconic movie and one that I can’t wait to share with my son once he is of age. While I’ve watched Jurassic Park countless times, here are a few takeaways after watching it once again…

• The raptors will always be terrifying, especially the kitchen scene as they chase the two Hammond grandchildren. To this day I’m still haunted by that raptor slowly opening the door.

• Did Wayne Knight rule the 90s? He was in Seinfeld, Space Jam, and Jurassic Park, three pieces of pop culture that each have an enduring legacy.

• The movie is chock-full of great lines of dialogue of which I can still repeat mostly verbatim:

  • “Yeah, but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.”

  • “Dodgson! Dodgson! We’ve got Dodgson here!”

  • “Hold on to your butts.”

  • Dr. Ian Malcolm: “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.” Dr. Ellie Sattler: “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.”

  • “God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.”

  • [looking at a ridiculously huge mound of dinosaur feces] “That is one big pile of shit.”

  • “Look... We can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back...”

• One of the best aspects of JP is that its creative designers thoughtfully integrated CGI while still using mechanical dinosaurs and puppeteering, which makes for a more grounded experience. The sad legacy of JP is that others didn’t learn the lesson and instead opted for CGI to replace most of the effects in their movies.

• The number of memorable shots and scenes, thanks to Spielberg and cinematographer Dean Cundey (who also did stellar work on the under appreciated Hook). A few of the best are: Samuel L. Jackson smoking a cigarette in the dark (of which the ash desperately needs to be clicked off) / the water rippling with each T-Rex stomp / the gallimimus flocking scene / the aforementioned introduction of the dinosaurs by Hammond / the raptors hunting Muldoon. I could name more easily…

  

A final reflection

Spielberg is famously known for exploring parenthood, childhood, divorce and other family dynamics throughout his filmography. But I also think there’s a driving, subconscious question that underpins his movies:

How can adults provide a joyful life for children, knowing that they will face loss and pain?

As adults and parents, we know that no matter how much stability we may try to build into our daily lives, there is no stopping the unpredictability and chaos (chaos theory!) of our existence. We’ve faced varying degrees of tragedy and we realize how arduous life can be, but we also see the hope and joy within children as they encounter life through new experiences. How do we encourage their curiosity and joy while preparing them for how life will inevitably test them? Some adults try to shield and prolong the cocoon of safety for children, fearing that any tears in the fabric will create permanent damage. But I think the messaging in Spielbergs’ films offers an alternative approach: Protection is important for children, indeed, but they also need guides who will create spaces of exploration, questioning, and encouragement as they face the more painful aspects of life. Alongside that, the realization that we can actually help nurture joy and even humor in our predicaments, and that instead of seeing all of these experiences as opposing forces, they are in fact friends that can all travel together in the adventure of life. That is a magic that can be discovered for a richer and deeper existence.

What I’m Watching

Quarterback

After watching a few emotionally-heavy shows in a row, I needed a palette cleanser and found it in the new Netflix docuseries, Quarterback. This eight episode series follows three current NFL quarterbacks (Patrick Mahomes, Kirk Cousins, Marcus Mariota) during the 2022-23 season, on and off the field. While there’s a ton of cliché sentiments about growing as athletes and leaders, I found the footage of training and methods of preparation to be fascinating. If you ever wonder what a quarterback goes through in between Sundays to prep for each game, this show provides a solid insider look. Again, nothing will knock your socks off, but it was a good watch if you want something on in the background.

Beef

Another Netflix show, Beef, was a much more challenging but highly enjoyable watch. Spiraling off of an initial road rage incident, Danny Cho (Steven Yeun) and Amy Lau (Ali Wong) are locked in a struggle with each other, their identities, families, upbringings, and more. While the show loses a bit of grounding in the last three episodes, it never stops being engaging. Wong and Yeun carve together phenomenal performances here. Warning: Don’t watch if you are trying to relax.

Oppenheimer

It is always a hallmark of a great film when you’re still wrestling with it several days after a viewing. Oppenheimer is that type of movie, not only creating a sense of awe and terror with the characters and subject matter, but also by producing larger questions about morality and the nature of power (amongst a few other ideas). Cillian Murphy delivers a performance that should garner not only nominations but hopefully several wins (if those events even happen this year). Many reviews have touched on the fragmented aspect of the narrative, especially its third act, but I think Christopher Nolan did a great job forming a story that reflects Oppenheimer’s disjointed experience. The film also feels like Kubrick, Malick, and Stone all wrapped together, which won me over. Not every single aspect works fully, but it’s top-tier Nolan.

What I’m Hearing

Spotify’s AI DJ

I haven’t engaged much with ChatGPT yet. Instead, the most interaction I’ve had with an AI at this point has been Spotify’s new-ish disc jockey. “DJ X” has been solid with the selections up this point, a lot of mellow music but occasionally giving me smaller doses of hip hop. I’m not sure what I was expecting, wait, actually yes I do, I secretly thought it might be able to predict what I wanted before I even knew it myself. Alas, it does not. Perhaps it’s not that smart yet or maybe it’s just another mix that I’ll occasionally skip through, but I will say it has introduced me to a few new bands that I might not have selected on my own. I do know this: When the robots take over, they’ll serenade us with “The End” by The Doors, and that’s not a bad way to go.

What I’m Reading

Of Boys and Men

I finished Reeves’ book on masculinity. I think it’s a solid read and he offers a few concrete and specific ways in which we can deal with several problems that boys and men face right now. A couple of suggestions that are helpful: (1) “Redshirting” boys at a young age to have extended Pre-K experience and delay their entry into Kindergarten. The research shows that developmentally, boys are behind girls by at least 2-3 years. A delayed start into the school system might support this gradual development and lead to more academic success down the line. (2) A renewed push for hands-on training in high school and emphasis on apprenticeships and partnerships with technical schools could help as well, while encouraging girls to also make use of these programs. I wish that the book had dealt with more social-emotional development for boys and young men, but maybe that could be the focus of future work.

What I’m Eating/Drinking

Antoinette Baking Co.

I ventured to the recently renovated Antoinette Baking Co. in downtown Tulsa this past week. It had been a few months since my last visit and I was impressed by how the new interior flows well and makes it easier to navigate the store. More than that, I had an excellent cinnamon roll and the iced vanilla latte (you all know I’m basic) was also quite good. Rumors were that Leo visited here often when he was shooting scenes for Killers of the Flower Moon, and while that fact matters not in this review, it’s a neat detail that should communicate to you that Tulsa is on the up and up.

I wracked my brain all week about what to write for this Friday’s newsletter and eventually came to the realization that sometimes you just don’t have it. There’s a ton of ideas swirling through my head and yet that doesn’t always provoke immediate inspiration or move the fingers to type on the keyboard. However, I do think that this week of creative crisis has produced two great ideas that will guide my thinking and writing through the rest of 2023 and I hope you’ll join along:

• Beginning July 28th (Update: August 4th) and over a period of ten weeks, I’ll recap and reflect on a piece of 90s entertainment that shaped me in a way. I haven’t decided yet if this will be all movies or if it will be a combination of pop culture from that time period, but Emily and I’s recent foray into rewatching 90s films has been a fun jaunt of looking back on my childhood. I’m going to explore the profound and the preposterous whilst exploring the decade in which I went from 8 to 18 years old!

  

• I’ll be following that up with a more serious journey into rewatching HBO’s The Leftovers starting in October. More details will be coming soon, but I aim to watch at least two episodes per week with recaps and personal reflections on one of the most meaningful television series I have ever watched. Sometimes I joke (it’s probably not a good one) that instead of going to therapy I watched The Leftovers. What I mean to say, more seriously, is that it was a show that arrived at a time in which I really needed it and I want to revisit why it had such an impact on me. Just a warning now that it can be a tough watch at times, but I hope that you’ll partner alongside me for a collective viewing.

See you next week!

What I’m Watching

Asteroid City

Perhaps your mileage varies on Wes Anderson, I know that for myself I sometimes I have to be in the right setting and mood to watch his films. You can’t knock him for a lack of creativity, though, as Asteroid City is an experimental film that at times works works very well and other times leaves you scratching your head a bit. I don’t think I can even explain the plot here, it’s something you have to see for yourself if you’re willing. Anderson does know how to craft a shot and there are many beautiful scenes throughout the picture. It’s mid-tier W.A. for me this go around, but that’s still pretty enjoyable.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning (Part One)

I think this movie needs a longer title, y’all. I don’t want to enjoy this franchise like I do, because it is indeed silly, but I can’t deny that it scratches an itch for me. Barring the fiasco that was M:I 2, this series has produced banger after banger and I of course was thrilled once again with Dead Reckoning. While Fallout is still my personal favorite, this one pokes a little more fun at itself and has a confidence that makes it an amusing watch. We do need to talk about Cruise’s face though, because what is going on there? Is he the one deepfaking all of us?!

What I’m Hearing

The Bear Season 2 Soundtrack

Is the soundtrack to season 2 of The Bear better than the series itself? Probably not, but the fact that I even ask that question speaks to the brilliance of this selection alongside this supremely-written series. Bruce Hornsby, Wilco, R.E.M., Mavis Staples… and that’s just the top of this collection. Do yourself a favor and check out this playlist (I found the soundtrack on Spotify).

The Big Picture

Not only do I love movies but I love listening to other people talk about movies, which Emily makes fun of me for constantly. I think Sean Fennessey and Amanda Dobbins do a hell of a job on The Big Picture podcast. Not only do they cover newly released films, but they do auctions and drafts of past decades and genres. Geek out with me and give them a listen if you wish.

What I’m Reading

Crying in H Mart

I’m only one chapter in but I am IN! Zauner visits Tulsa next week and I’m hoping to have the book read (or a majority of it) when she arrives at Central Library to discuss her memoir of family, loss, and food.

Of Boys and Men

Yes, I am still working my way through this one. No updates other than this random factoid from the book: Apparently 1 in 200 people can claim Genghis Khan in their ancestry?!

What I’m Eating/Drinking

An OKC Mini-tour

Last weekend we had ourselves a little staycation (is it still a staycation if it’s not in your hometown?) and went to Oklahoma City for a couple of days to relax and unwind without a newborn. We went to Big Truck Tacos, Jones Assembly, Packard’s, Elemental Coffee, The Hall’s Pizza Kitchen, Picasso Cafe and had drinks on Saturday night at the wonderful Library of Distilled Spirits, which is an old bank vault converted into a swanky bar. I think both Tulsa and OKC have underrated food and drink cultures and will only grow over the next few years.

The Dream of the Nineties is alive in our home. What I really mean to say is that Emily and I have been on a run of watching movies from the 1990s and it has become this enjoyable ritual where one of us has the job of selecting that night’s feature and then we both sit down for an evening watch providing our own commentary. I like the variety of what we’ve chosen to this point, there’s blockbuster, comedy, thriller, courtroom drama, with a healthy dose of overacting in between. A few of the films that we have watched thus far include A League of Their Own, The Shawshank Redemption, The Rainmaker, Primal Fear, The Firm, and Road House (before you yell at the screen and tell me that this was released in 1989, I know that fact already but I first watched it in the 90s and it reflects that aspect of my adolescence… so back off!). Alas, here are a few takeaways from this era experiment:

• My wife and I were both children of the 90s, so there’s obviously a nostalgia bit that makes these viewings intrinsically interesting, but it’s also been fun to learn details about each other’s childhood as we visit (and revisit) these films.

• I sincerely appreciate that so many of these movies range in the one and a half hour to two-hour time frames. So many movies these days are bloated, with B and C plots that tend to go nowhere or ultimately feel irrelevant to the premise. Plus, who has time to watch a three hour movie?! The movies of this era feel relatively tight and concise by comparison.

  

• With the arrival of streaming, I realize that many of the stories that we enjoy from this time period would exist as a limited series now (or not at all). If it’s not Marvel, Star Wars, or some other kind of IP, it’s most likely not going to be made into a movie for theatrical release today (unless you’re an established filmmaker). I miss the days when many independently funded and/or smaller-scale films were able to exist on their own instead of being spun out into larger series. While several have benefited from this type of expansion, there are also many examples of shows that I wished were movies instead (we can and should have both).

• There’s a bit of cheesiness to these movies that I sort of miss. Richard Gere is not a great actor but he kind of worked for that time period and even Tom Cruise flourished running around and being way too earnest in his earlier roles (which now gets channeled into wild, complex stunts for his Mission Impossible franchise). There’s a levity and light-heartedness that seems to be absent from many contemporary thriller/sci-fi/action movies. All that said, paralleling these entries were incredible and original stories such as Boogie Nights and Pulp Fiction. It was nice to have both options to watch back in the day and I cherish those times. We didn’t know how good we had it! Do I sound old yet?

  

• Speaking of cheese, Road House is a blessed mess! If you ever wonder how prevalent cocaine use was during this time in America, you will be given a quick education by watching this movie. However, one of the greatest lines of dialogue ever written for the screen was delivered by Swayze when he said, “You’re too stupid to have a good time!”

• Lastly, whatever your era of choice (and whatever mode of entertainment you choose), this is an experiment that I’d encourage others to partake in (maybe you want to listen to music from the 80s or read books from 00’s authors with someone else, both great options). It doesn’t have to be with a significant other, but grab a friend or two and share in consuming some piece of nostalgia together. Celebrate some eras from your own lives (Taylor can’t have all the fun on her own) and I guarantee you’ll learn a lot about yourself and the others in the process.

What I’m Watching

Righteous Gemstones (Season 3)

Overall I have enjoyed The Righteous Gemstones and as someone who grew up within evangelical Christianity, there are elements that hit hilariously close to home and are ripe for satirization. My largest complaint, and especially for this season, is that there is not enough of Walton Goggins’ Uncle Baby Billy! His character is what works the most for me this season (which has been a bit of a letdown) and he’s criminally underused. With four more episodes of this season to go, I’m hoping for a little bit of resurrection.

What I’m Hearing

Americans Think the Economy is Terrible. The Data Tell Another Story (Plain English Podcast by Derek Thompson)

I enjoyed this conversation about the American economy, which is not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. However, I found this episode to be insightful, nuanced, and dare I say it… balanced. The thesis: the economy isn’t terrible and the economy isn’t wonderful either, it’s best to say instead that it is weird.

What I’m Reading

Of Boys and Men by Richard V. Reeves

I’ve grown fascinated and frustrated by the dialogue around modern concepts of masculinity. I’m way too early in this book to describe how Reeves’ articulates a vision for it going forward, but I do think he’s done a solid job of describing how both the right- and left-leaning perspectives have been largely unhelpful. Once I delve deeper into the text, I’ll offer a summary of the book here with personal reflections included.

The Modern Farmhouse is Today’s McMansion. And It’s Here to Stay by Ronda Kaysen (New York Times)

Preferences vary on home architecture, of course, but this is a great read on the popularity of the farmhouse aesthetic. Here’s a quote from the piece:

“Thomas Mellins, an architectural historian and a curator of the “House & Home” exhibition at National Building Museum, finds it fitting that Americans, who gravitate to styles that reflect larger cultural trends, chose this moment to land on a look that makes you think of “Little House on the Prairie,” but only if the Ingalls family lived in the suburbs and worked in finance.”

What I’m Eating/Drinking

Air Fryer Chicken Wings

After years of experimentation, I think I have cracked the air fryer chicken wing recipe! Here are the steps, as follows:

1. Let the wings sit in a cold bath of salt water (at least an hour), then pat them dry to then marinate in a mixture of olive oil, salt/pepper/garlic seasoning, and baking powder (to ensure crispiness) for however long you wish (I did 30 minutes).

2. Spray the air fryer with oil and do a first run at 360 degrees for 15ish minutes, pull them back out and flip them to finish off at 400 for 10ish minutes.

3. Lastly, toss them in a sauce or two (my choices this week were Head Country mild bbq and Frank’s Red Hot buffalo). Try it out if you wish and let me know how it goes!

I was laying in bed a few nights ago, mindlessly scrolling through the rotation of feeds that work to supplant my own consciousness with a never-ending stream of how-to-cook videos, hot takes, and “Did you know?” posts about whatever meaningless nonsense. It’s amazing how resilient our brains are, if you pause to think about it, that it takes this constant flood of information and then somehow begs for more. To mix metaphors, it’s like we’re wired for sound but not meant to take the barrage of explosions that we sit ourselves next to every day. I’m once again reminded of the need to quiet my brain and to tune myself to a different frequency.

Whether you protest this fact or not, there’s no denying that we in the good ol’ U.S. of A are generally trending away from traditional religion observance. The narratives and data are complicated, but less people attend church (or other religious gatherings) on the regular or define themselves in orthodox terminology in the way that past generations did (New York Times columnist Jessica Grose has a fascinating five-part newsletter about this topic that is worth checking out). For some this may be something to mourn and for others it might be cause for optimism. I tend to think about its major historical implications, as a transition that has a chance to bring with it many positives but will undoubtedly have consequences that are worth considering. That sounds rather objective, but of course my own biases present themselves in any discussion about this topic. I won’t delve too much into my personal perspective here but instead want to illustrate for others what it might mean to wander through new territories, especially if they are transitioning out of old ones.

But I’ll be a little honest too, I’m not quite sure how I define spirituality for myself anymore. I know that it is incredibly different than how I would have described it twenty, ten, or even five years ago. I’m going to go ahead and bet that it is a good thing, because from what I have witnessed those who don’t change their viewpoints much over time seem stuck in a lot of ways (at times with mild outcomes, but often accompanied by more destructive and painful consequences). Whatever it may be or however you construct it, I think a major aspect of spirituality is connection. While this is a broad sentiment, I find it important to emphasize connection to self, connection to others, connection to a higher power (if one so chooses), and connection to surroundings as a pathway for personal development. That may still sound a bit too vague for some but that’s all I’ve got worked out at this point. We live within a cacophony of distractions, much of which is intentionally designed to keep us off-kilter (usually for marketing purposes). Whatever we can do to maintain an interior and exterior focus will be welcome for a robust and holistic existence. I think these types of connections are formed in a myriad of ways, but in an effort to be a little precise, here are a few things I’m working on to stay more attuned and grow myself:

• Detaching from technology. I have started leaving my phone in other rooms of the house and taking extended breaks from looking at screens. I don’t do this as often as I should, but this is becoming a practice I’m integrating frequently. Our phones have become bodily extensions of ourselves, close to Frankenstein levels at this point, so I’m finding it increasingly helpful to dismember that part of myself so I can be present to wherever I am at and whomever I am with.

• Driving in silence. I love a good podcast or playlist on the road, but I’m discovering that sitting in silence in my car is improving my focus and decreasing some of my internal road rage. It also readies me for wherever I am venturing off to next.

• Check-ins with friends. For example, I have a once-a-week check-in with a dear friend I’ve known for twenty years and we simultaneously navigate serious matters, NBA trades and news, and discussions about Taco Bueno in a matter of minutes. I hate the phrase, but it is important that we all find “our people” and check in on them often. Whether it be phone calls or coffee hangs, it’s vital that we find ways to connect with the people that know us best and also give of ourselves to them.

• Journaling. Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been consistent about journal-writing and it is a lovely practice. I’m generally a once-a-week chronicler and I write stupid and meaningful stuff in there which helps me reflect on the past, hone in on present issues, and ponder the future.

• Meditation. Again, this is an inconsistent practice but I have found that it helps me focus, especially when daily life gets chaotic. I use the Calm app and I highly recommend the guided morning meditations (generally around 10 minutes), which helps me prepare for whatever comes at me on a particular day.

• Reading. Going through grad school, starting a family, and working full time allows for all kinds of excuses not to do helpful things such as reading, but it’s a healthy exercise for my brain and I have to pledge time to it in order to feel more like myself. It too functions as a sort of meditation for me and I’ve been committing to it at least 30 minutes a day as of late.

• Asking questions. Here’s what I mean with this statement: Be curious. Take time to ask questions of your friends, family members, coworkers, etc. This practice helps me break up patterns of assumption, biases, and frozen thinking. These questions don’t always have to be super deep, but the process helps me grow and learn instead of relying on what I assume to be true. It grows me closer to others as well.

• Drinking more water and eating better things. Again, the name of the game is not always consistency but integration. I’m a sucker for all kinds of junk and I’m not an advocate for crash or fad diets, so meaningful and gradual consumption of healthier options makes much more sense for me. Our minds and bodies are intricately connected and need to teach each other how to live better and I’m working on being a better student.

• Exercise and Nature. I walk my dogs daily, I play basketball 1 to 2 times a week, I hike occasionally, and I’m about to undertake more exercises like cycling and kayaking. Working out is about enjoyment and I’m not going to commit to it unless I love doing it. The last few years for me have been my most active to date (plus I no longer feel guilty about skipping the gym) and has led to wonderful outcomes. Another key aspect of working out is a connection to the environment, especially if I get to do activities such as trail walking or hiking. There’s also a growing body of research emphasizing exercising in natural areas over doing so in a neighborhood, gym, or other urban settings.

• Watching movies. I’ve always found watching films to be an exercise in wrestling with profundity. It’s a different engagement than watching television and often feels more meditative. I tend to gravitate toward the slower-moving flicks that can quiet and disquiet my soul in a variety of ways. It may be harder these days to sit down for 2-3 hours straight, but taking breaks along the way is fine by me.

I hope there are a few practices here that either make sense or encourage you to think about what provides you connection. No matter what my beliefs are, I’ll always be a person fascinated by spirituality and personal development. Wherever you are on the spiritual spectrum, I hope that you’ll find ways to connect to reality in deeper ways, and even to see that ordinary practices can be transformative and good for the soul. We have so many things competing for our attention that we end up not paying attention to the things that matter. Let’s find ways to live out our daily lives more richly.

A final thought. This might not be helpful for all but it was a much-needed salve for me several years ago in my healing process. Due to a lot of religious hangups in my past, I spent a majority of my life feeling intense shame connected to actions and thoughts around my exterior and interior life. This led to lost relationships, gaining a lot of weight, and a few years of depression (this is something I’ll come back to in future writing). It took me years to trust my intuition and love myself a little better. I had to conceptually transition from thinking “Is this behavior sinful?/ Am I sinful?” to “Is this behavior healthy?/ Am I healthy? ”. Once I began to look at my life (intellectually, psychologically, physiologically) through the lens of health, I saw a real turn in my well-being. I sincerely hope that connects with some of you because it is a piece of wisdom I wish I had learned sooner.

Be kind to yourself and others out there, y’all. See you next week.

What I’m Watching

The Indiana Jones Collection

In anticipation of the fifth and presumably final film in the Indiana Jones series, Emily and I have been revisiting the previous entries and in short: Raiders is still amazing, Temple of Doom was not, Last Crusade remains a personal favorite, and Crystal Skull was better than I remember (still not great). I’m remaining hopeful for Dial of Destiny.

The Bear (Season 2)

The second season of The Bear is now tied for me with Succession’s final season as the best television of 2023. I loved Ritchie’s story arc and Sydney’s journey as a chef, plus the soundtrack is once again stellar. I don’t binge many shows, to my wife’s dismay, but I stuffed this one down quickly. It was fast food made with the best of ingredients.

What I’m Hearing

Fleet Foxes at Cain’s Ballroom (live concert)

Tulsans know that one of the best music venues in the country resides in our own backyard and I had the fortunate opportunity to catch Fleet Foxes once again in this historic gem. I’m happy that this band has made it out of the Mumford era with their musical integrity intact while experimenting with new sounds, as I have found the last two of their albums wonderfully complex and moving. Uwade, their opener, was so good and I look forward to hearing more of her music in the future.

What I’m Reading

Burn it Down by Maureen Ryan

I’m still working my way through Maureen Ryan’s troubling but important work, Burn It Down. Ryan does a great job of gathering insider perspectives on how the Hollywood industry often runs, but the fascinating part has been the deep dive on the culture of SNL and Lorne Michaels’ direction of the show. While it’s disturbing material, fore sure, Ryan’s writing is helping to paint a better picture of what healthier creativity can look like.

What I’m Eating/Drinking

Jalapeño Poppers

Cream cheese + cheddar cheese + jalapeños + bacon + bbq sauce = Perfection. I do a variation of The Pioneer Woman’s recipe but cut the bacon strips in half and do a pre- and post-cook slathering of Head Country bbq sauce. It’s a staple of many game day watches and just made an appearance at a July 4th cookout this past week and was a big hit!

Vanilla Iced Latte at Notion Tulsa

I ventured out into the world of co-working last week and did some writing at the new Root Coworking offices, which also plays host to the new Notion Market Cafe. I’m basic, but I often judge a shop by how good their iced lattes are and I had a real good time with this one. The beverage and the space were both delightful.

My first Father’s Day was a wild and unforgettable one. Usually when I am woken abruptly in the middle of the night it’s because my newborn son is stirring and he wants to eat. Instead, we were greeted on this particular Sunday morning with 100 mph winds, a tree falling over in our backyard, and our power shutting off. Remarkably, my son stayed asleep through the entire ordeal. The “Tulsa Stormpocalypse of 2023” shut down the city for an entire week and felt like a truncated version of a Covid shutdown with gas, groceries, and cell service chased down like we were all in a live version of Mario Kart.

The realization that I am a dad is still a bizarre one for me because for so much of my life I didn’t know if being one would ever really happen. Some men seem to know that they want to be fathers early on but that was not the case for me, which I have chalked up mostly to the fact that I’ve been a “go with the flow” type of person my entire life. By the time I got into my mid-thirties I assumed it would not happen and I became somewhat fine with that option. But as slow and tedious as life can travel at times, there can be sudden bursts of movement and transformation that change your personhood in so many ways. Within a few short years I met Emily, got married, bought a house, became a dog parent twice over, and found myself a proud dad of an eight-week-old baby boy. I’ll spare you the quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but life can indeed move at remarkable rates. It’s an education being a parent and I’ve been overloaded with a barrage of lessons. Here are a few takeaways from the journey thus far:

• I’ve accepted several new part-time jobs without any additional pay: I’m a dishwasher, every morning I wake up to a stack of bottles and formula mixers that need washing and drying. I’m also a bartender/mixologist, but the cocktail is an incredibly simple formula and is made daily for a drunkard who can’t seem to have enough. I’m a housekeeper frequently replacing sheets, doing laundry, and cleaning up bodily fluids. There are more jobs, I’m sure of it, but I’m too tired to mention here.

• They say that there are no atheists in foxholes, but I don’t think the person who coined this phrase understood the petitions of an exhausted parent hoping their baby will go back to bed at 4 in the morning.

• I realize that this won’t always be the case so believe me that I am cherishing this time, but I didn’t realize how many podcasts, books, and tv that I would be able to churn through with a newborn. There are so many places in my life right now that feel unproductive but I am a content machine thanks to a little man that sleeps or eats 95% of the time.

• One of the key pieces of advice that I got was to keep up date nights in the midst of having children and I have indeed cherished the times in which Emily and I have been able to get away for a meal and an adult beverage on our own, but I also feel like a sort of zombie partner (at least conversationally). While we are not at all that couple that you see in a restaurant looking past each other being silent, I do fear at times I am not being fully present and engaging. Perhaps it’s just me but I often feel that there is so much on the mind these days (new anxieties and worries and all that) that it is simply easier to exist in a sort of survival mode. It’s something that I have to work through and it’s an added challenge.

• With that said, it’s so mind-blowing to see a different facet of the person you are partnered with when faced with a new challenge. Parenthood has allowed me to see with even more depth how giving, thoughtful, and intentional Emily is and how wonderful she is at motherhood. I don’t tell her that enough, so once I finish here I’m going to go do that…

• My son’s giggle is the best sound I’ve ever heard. I’ve only encountered it once, but it was magical. I now understand the lengths parents will go to produce that response.

That’s the news from the front. More updates will be on the way.

Here’s What I’m Watching

Somebody Somewhere (Season 2)

What an absolute treasure of a television show. It’s a relatively simple story with complex people who you joyfully root for and my hope is that more people will watch this series. Jeff Hiller’s character, Joel, is one of my favorites of the last few years. I also want to champion more stories that don’t require intricate plot points but instead showcase how life actually feels.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

If you’re anything like me, you are absolutely exhausted with the surplus of multiverses and comic book shenanigans. All that said, I was thoroughly impressed by the second Spider-Verse movie, which gave me lots of Empire Strikes Back vibes coupled with stunning visuals and animation. Somehow this movie is both loud and propulsive and quiet and reflective all at the same time. I might be pressing pause on most Marvel IP these days, but I will welcome this type of storytelling anytime.

Here’s What I’m Hearing

First Two Pages of Frankenstein by The National

I’m not sure this new entry from The National is all that unique but I’ll always welcome new music from this crew and there are a couple of legitimate tracks that will be in my rotation for quite a while. I guess it fits that this new father would advocate for sad dad rock, but I’m okay with being a bit basic sometimes.

Long Shadow: Rise of the American Far Right by Garett Graff

This seven-part podcast series tracks the events of Waco and Oklahoma City all the way to the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol, all the while exploring how fringe right-wing thought has moved from the edges and into the mainstream. I’m always fascinated by this subject matter and Graff does excellent and quick work of connecting the dots, but I have to warn you that this might give you a few nightmares because it for sure rattled me.

Here’s What I’m Reading

Burn it Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood by Maureen Ryan

I’m about a third of the way through this book but I’ve found this Hollywood chronicle informative, enlightening, and quite sad. It’s also disheartening to read that some of the shows I love dearly, such as LOST and Mad Men, were on many occasions hosts to toxic environments and problematic people. I do think that there are changes happening in the industry but it’s a shame that so many creators have been suppressed and disregarded due to the power structures involved in entertainment.

Here’s What I’m Eating and Drinking

Casa Tequila

If you’re in the Tulsa area, or ever choose to visit, I want to preach to you the good news of the Casa Tequila margarita. It’s strong, it’s large, and it’s delightful. Tulsa plays host to a vast and amazing array of Mexican restaurants and food trucks, but as for me and my house, we will stopping in at this house of tequila as much as possible. While we of course love the food there, a pairing with said margarita is a must for the full experience. On the rocks or frozen, you can’t go wrong.

My fingers hesitate to type these words because there’s a mixture of anxiety, excitement, superstition, and disbelief that give me a moment of pause. A couple of years of trying for children led my wife and I to positive tests and visits to doctors but ultimately a couple of miscarriages, so every bit of enthusiasm and hope that we experience now is tinged with some fear about what may be lurking around the corner. There’s definitively a sweet taste now but it still gets mixed in with a shot of bitterness. But over these last few months I’ve learned that there are so many factors outside of my control that I can’t help but let the words flee from my head and toward my fingers and onto the keyboard below. While I’ve always cherished the words of The Serenity Prayer, “to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”, those are sentiments that take time and practice to accept more fully and honestly. I’ve always been a little dubious about prayer in general, even at my most devout, but I can also tell you that during this period of ups and downs that I have prayed and begged that my wife might get to experience motherhood and that we would be able to raise a child together. And after all that time and confusion and hope and anger, here we are at the precipice making room in our hearts and in our home to welcome our baby boy. And no matter what has led to this moment, I would like to add that gratefulness is the aftertaste after all that we have walked through. Emily and I have grown closer with each other, trusted in our future more deeply, and have relied on the love of friends and family more completely.

I believe prayers are essentially a form of meditation. And while I may harbor large suspicions that they work to change outcomes and situations, I instead trust that these motions work to alter our perspectives during the processes of life. Perhaps our prayers, meditations, reflections (whatever you want to call them) help us to be more calm, focused, empathetic, peaceful, and intentional. They also act as personal confessions that we address toward ourselves, to reveal what terrifies us, mystifies us, what we dream for, and what we hope to come to fruition. Even as a skeptic at heart, I still have prayers for our son and perhaps by sharing those with myself and friends, our little village can surround and help build him into the person he needs to become. So I share this prayer, meditation, reflection with you as a hope and a confession as we raise a child into this simultaneously beautiful and tragic world…

“Arthur Thomas,

Your first and middle name are rich in meaning. We initially think of King Arthur, of course, that perhaps-historical-but-most-likely-mythological figure who was brave, courageous, a protector and leader of others. There are so many facets of that story that I hope for you, that you will see your life as a source of hope for others and that you’ll protect and care for communities that are vulnerable and worthy of focus. I want you to be strong, not so much that it points back to you but that instead you’ll refract that power in support of others to build them up as well. I pray that you’ll be a source of goodness, of love, and care for your peers and your environment. There’s something instinctual about the character of Arthur, trusting his intuition and knowing intimately who he was and I wish that for you because I spent way too much of my life not trusting my gut and instead went along with what others wanted for me.

I also love the second half of your name for a couple of reasons. First, you’re named after your great-grandfather (Tom) and he has spent his life caring for and pastoring others, some of it in the cause of civil rights as he walked the Edmund Pettus Bridge alongside Martin Luther King, Jr., John Lewis, and so many other brave women, men, and children who stood strong to advocate for their full existence in the South. But I also love your name because it invokes something almost opposite of the first part of your name. Your name is a juxtaposition, an oxymoron even, because I also think of the disciple Thomas from the Christian scriptures. He’s commonly thought of as the skeptic, the doubter, the mistrusting one. It may be an odd thing to wish for a child, but I pray that you’ll live a life full of questions, suspicions, and doubts. I want you to take everything you are presented, everything you think you know, and all the values that you hold, with what I’ll call a “loose embrace”. Or perhaps in the musical wisdom of 38 Special, I hope you “Hold on loosely”:

"Your baby needs something to believe in,

and a whole lot of space to breathe in.” - 38 Special

I don’t think we are meant to be bags tossed to and fro by whatever current wind is catching us, but I also don’t think we should be so staunch and solidified in any of our perspectives. We should always leave room for questions, for doubt, for the fact that we and others might have it a little wrong. We can hold on to things, for sure, but we should do so with not too tight a hold. Therefore I hope you question what is given to you, even when it’s coming from your mom and me. I think one of the largest vices that most of us carry within us is the desire for absolute certainty. It’s a drug, really, and its promises are empty. But there’s a fine line between fundamentalism and devotion, because we can devote ourselves to people, to causes, and to values without placing the entirety of our existence within any one of those things on their own.

Even as this meditation offers its own kind of expectation, I don’t want to create a yoke for you. We’ll be guides along the way but you must walk your own path. I’m simply excited to watch you grow and encounter this world. It can be a wild and mean place at times, but it’s so often filled with a beauty that catches my breath. In the end, I just want you to be kind: Kind to yourself, kind to others, kind to the world you meet. And please don’t ever see that as a weakness because it’s really a muscle that we all need to exercise more routinely. It’s a muscle that creates actual strength. In the wise words of Conan O’Brien (who you will definitely be introduced to), “If you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

That’s my prayer for you, Artie. We’ll see you soon.

Enjoy this classic, folks…

Leave it to me to pick the last day of the year to write up my “Best of 2022” list (In my defense, there were a lot of shows and movies that didn’t arrive until very late in the year). But let’s not really call it a “Best of…” listing. That feels a bit tired anymore, I don’t like ranking things and on any given day these lists might change depending on a variety of factors. Instead, I like to think about what has stuck with me instead of what is “best”. Last April, I wrote a mid-year top ten of shows (I know, I’m inconsistent) and I’m here to revisit that somewhat. A few of those selections have stayed with me, some have somewhat gone by the wayside, though not because their quality was poor but by the simple fact that there was an embarrassment of riches. Everything Everywhere All At Once is a movie title that could also refer to how overwhelming it felt to try and take in all the content that was released this year. I’m not necessarily complaining but I do hope that 2023 is better paced and without as much glut.

I’m also here to share a few pieces of advice with creators and audiences. Not that anyone will care about or heed them, but I offer them nonetheless, as follows:

1. TV creators, please utilize editors. I know so much focus is based on screen time these days, but cutting scenes, cutting episodes, even cutting entire characters are wise propositions moving forward.

2. You don’t need “bottle episodes” if they don’t enhance the story. It’s that easy.

3. Andor was amazing and we most likely won’t get anything like that again because so many more people watched The Book of Boba Fett more than something that was actually intriguing and had something to say. That just sucks.

4. I wish all shows would go back to the once-a-week release model. When Netflix releases a show to binge, two things happen (at least for me): (1) It immediately feels like I have a large amount of homework to finish, and (2) those shows just don’t stick with me as long. I need time to marinate and think about what might happen next. The binge model encourages me to forget storylines.

5. Can we move on from creating top ten lists? I just can’t do it this year, it feels increasingly odd and off-putting to make art competitive in this way (even though these are just my opinions). I will, however, share what my favorite was for each category (because I’m hypocritical in that way).

6. Let’s all work to go back to movie theaters, and not just for Marvel or established IP showings. I’m not here to denigrate those pics, but to offer a more complex palette. Go see something that you might not select automatically, go see a movie made by someone who doesn’t live in your country, go see something that might make you feel uncomfortable. I say this also as a directive to myself, because it’s easy for all of us to make entertainment decisions based off what we enjoy and not what might challenge us.

Final note: I didn’t include a list of books here because most of the time I don’t read new stuff and this year I’ve been reading a bunch for grad school. That said, I have very much enjoyed Jon Meacham’s new biography of Abraham Lincoln and it is easily my favorite read for the year. Also my film list is short because, while I felt a little more comfortable going back to the movies and even renewed my membership to the great Circle Cinema, I simply spent way more time with television this year.

If you’re here, thanks for reading. I hope to do more of it in the next year!

Television

Fleishman is in Trouble (Hulu) - I simultaneously didn’t want to watch this show while also knowing it was up my alley. I kept hearing critics I respect talk about it, I watched the trailers, but I was honestly a little tired of television at that point in December. That said, leave it for the end of the year for one of my favorites to arrive. Simply put, it’s about forty-somethings in New York who are navigating divorce, dating, raising children, and finding personal fulfillment all at the same time. It’s not for everyone, but it was definitely for me.

The Dropout (Hulu) - Whether or not you tracked the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes, this was a fantastic piece about our current fascination with technology, American myth-making, and hero-worship. Amanda Seyfried’s performance alone is worth the watch.

Severance (AppleTV+) - I’ve written about Severance before but I’m happy to see that this series connected with so many over the year. This puzzle-box show is more satisfying than most of it’s predecessors and already feels like it has more direction, featuring one of the best season finales I have ever watched. Ben Stiller flexed pretty hard with season one and I can’t wait to see what is coming up next.

Slow Horses (AppleTV+) - Seasons 1 and 2 (which wrapped up this week) debuted in 2022 and if you like British spy craft (though run amok) than this is for you. I’ll watch just about anything with Gary Oldman and he gets so many moments to shine here.

Barry, Season 3 (HBO Max) - Bill Hader (making Tulsa proud) never disappoints with Barry. It has all the comedic timing of a Coen brothers movie mixed with a more Scorsesian sense of consequence. It’s violent, hilarious, and moving and more than anything it is consistently great.

We Own This City (HBO Max) - If you were a fan of The Wire, then WOTC is essentially watching an up-to-date season five. This show is severely undervalued and Jon Bernthal is insanely good as corrupt cop (and a very real person) Wayne Jenkins.

The Bear (Hulu) - I’ve never worked in a restaurant, but this show does its damned best to make you feel the anxiety and terror of what that experience is like. There is so much conflict and tension in this show that it’s almost unbearable (pun intended), but like any great food experience the tastes are wonderful, complex, and satisfying. While it sounds like the show might be hard to watch, it’s also a community of people you want to be around and that eases the whole process. Easily one of the year’s best.

Reservation Dogs, Season 2 (FX on Hulu) - The real Tulsa King is Sterlin Harjo. It has been so fun to watch his rise from local filmmaker to a big time showrunner, taking so many elements he learned while being an indie director and implementing them into a coming of age series. Season 2 was exceptional, especially Episode 9. There is so much creativity forming in and coming out of Oklahoma, it’s so cool to witness.

White Lotus, Season 2 (HBO Max) - I can’t say much more than what has already been said about this show, but it’s probably the most fun watch of the year. It’s beautiful, sexy, shocking, and hilarious. Creator Mike White is also an avid film fan, so many of the scenes in White Lotus borrow from some of the best filmmakers in the history of cinema but are uniquely placed in this modern setting.

Station Eleven (HBO Max) - Though technically this series began in 2021, it wrapped up in mid-January and therefore counts! Y’all, this was my favorite for the year. This show affected me more emotionally than anything I watched in 2022, it respected all of the characters, allowed so much room for nuance and complexity, it was gracious, and ended so beautifully. Dan Romer’s gripping music composition for the show also added to what I loved about it and made sequences in the show even more powerful and enriching.

Honorable Mentions: Andor (Disney+), Somebody Somewhere (HBO Max), Pachinko (AppleTV+), What We Do in the Shadows, Season 4 (FX on Hulu), Industry (HBO Max), Atlanta, Season 4 (FX on Hulu), Winning Time (HBO Max), Hacks (HBO Max), Under the Banner of Heaven (Hulu)

Films

The Banshees of Inisherin - I can’t recall a movie that was at once this funny and sad all at the same time. Every performance is rich and every scene is integral to the overall narrative. While centered around a devolving friendship, it manages to focus it’s attention on the question of what makes a life meaningful. It will also make you want to visit your local pub afterward. My personal favorite from 2022.

Nope - There’s an Indian restaurant in Tulsa, Desi Wok, with a dish called the Bombay Combo and it’s huge, which means there are a lot of leftovers throughout the week. The great thing about the dish is that the more it marinates in the fridge, the better it is each sitting. That’s how Nope felt to me. Each time I have revisited the film, the more I have enjoyed it.

Everything Everywhere All At Once - I won’t try to explain the concept of this film, I’ll merely state that the hype is well earned. It kind of feels like a Charlie Kaufman movie with a little more heart and accessibility. It’s wonderful.

The Fabelmans - We’re living in a weird time when one of the best filmmakers who has every lived releases a movie and it’s treated like some sort of little arthouse project. Though it’s probably about twenty minutes too long, I loved so much of The Fabelmans. It’s a love letter to cinema, but it’s a director trying to re-contextualize his upbringing and his relationship with his parents. It’s a revisitation to discover reconciliation. It’s a reminder not just what art can do for audiences, but what it can do for creators as well.

Prey - I love a good Predator movie and this didn’t disappoint. It’s not mind-blowing in any real way but it’s just plain fun to watch. They could make ten more period-piece Predators and I would watch every single one of them. Amber Midthunder is also a star to watch for years to come (she was also great in Reservation Dogs).

Podcasts

Films To Be Buried With - If you want to hear a friendlier Roy Kent interview people about their favorite movies, this is the podcast for you. It also became my favorite podcast discovery for the year.

ReThinking with Adam Grant - I’m a big Adam Grant fan and he’s started another podcast interviewing experts in psychology, business, sociology, and other fields. It’s a consistently good listen and you’ll always come away learning something new.

Smartless - I love the dry wit of Jason Bateman and Will Arnett mixed with the earnestness of Sean Hayes. Sometimes my mileage varies depending on the week, but if you need something in the background that you don’t have to focus too much on, this hits the spot.

What stuck with you this year? Happy New Year, everyone!

So, it’s been a while since I’ve written… since August 19th to be exact. But if I can take a moment to justify my absence, a lot has been happening in life: I completed my first semester of grad school and my wife and I learned recently that we’ll be welcoming a baby boy (our first) in May! That process is worth a whole other piece of writing of which I’m currently working on and I hope to share that story soon. It’s one of those up and down tales that involves a large amount of pain and heartache and yet there’s truth and beauty to be found throughout. Again, I’ll share soon.

Writing is an activity that is simultaneously arduous and yet brings quite a bit of inner peace to me. When I finish a piece of writing, it’s akin to that feeling I have after an intense workout: utterly exhausted, feeling achy all over the place, and yet there’s a wave of relief that accompanies shortly after. It’s like I’m a blank canvas all over again. Writing is also similar to a workout routine in that it takes consistency to be successful. I’ve never been great at consistency so me showing up here to write again is like that first time you go back to the gym after a long sabbatical. It seems very awkward to make the movements, you question if you’re doing it all correctly, and then you castigate yourself in the mirror frequently. It also feels like nothing fits right, but that’s why you show up, with the hope that everything can fit right again.

So here I am lacing up my shoes, putting on the workout clothes, and taking another go at it so that I make this an actual “lifestyle choice”.

Listening, Watching, Reading

Midnights

I guess I’m a late-stage “Swiftie” and call me basic if you will, but I’m giving myself a lot of grace over here these days. No one told me that my midlife crisis would begin with me blasting “Anti-Hero” in my car but truth be told I just don’t care who sees or hears it. Is it a great album? Hell no. Is it bringing me a lot of joy? Hell yes.

Andor

One of the aspects of Andor that I most appreciate is that it takes IP that is usually reserved for children (and people who have clung on to their childhood for way too long) and makes is palatable for more mature audiences. It’s gritty, serious, and adult, but not in a Zack Snyder kind of way that aims to prove to everyone else that you’re an adult. I sincerely hope more people watch this show because if we don’t watch shows like this then we’ll be fed more crap and then I’ll have to shout, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” to an audience of none and that will be sad for me. Don’t make me do that, please.

Atlanta

All good things must come to an end. Like all the great legacy shows I think Atlanta ended before it had to, but exiting early creates a bittersweet taste instead of overstaying your welcome which leaves an awful aftertaste. While Season 3 got dragged a little bit unfairly, I think Season 4 was exquisite and had some of the most heartfelt and hilarious scenes that they’ve ever filmed in the series. I’ll miss these characters so much but I’m looking forward to what these actors, writers, and directors will do moving forward. We also don’t get series like Reservation Dogs if Atlanta didn’t push the boundaries of what television could offer.

White Lotus

I was a little worried when HBO announced a second season for this show after what was a magical and unexpected first season. Perhaps it’s a slower build than its predecessor but I think I’m enjoying this season even more. Mike White and team’s writing is so well-crafted and captures our present moment so distinctly, even with a variety of characters that are seemingly out of touch with our shared existence. With the recent announcement of a third season, I can now say that I am eagerly awaiting what else will be dreamt up from these creators.

The Banshees of Inisherin

Do yourself a favor and go see this film in a theater. I say this not because it needs a big screen necessarily, but because I want movies like this to keep existing in movie theaters (similar to the argument for watching Andor- let’s celebrate and support better art). Also, I’d encourage you not to read much about the movie before you see it as it takes some wild and shocking turns that deserve your ignorance. It’s simultaneously the funniest and saddest thing I have watched this year.

Don’t Worry Darling

Here’s what you need to go going in: Harry Styles can’t act. Florence Pugh is wonderful (as always). The movie is neither as bad or as good as anyone says but it’s just simply okay. The cinematography and production design are compelling and are worth the watch on their own.

Wakanda Forever

After being out on Marvel for some time now, I was extremely excited and anxious to see Wakanda Forever. I know this movie had a lot it was trying to do in that it needed to honor the life of an actor (and by all accounts great human being) and a character while moving the story along and also integrating new Marvel IP, but damn was this a huge disappointment for me. All of the aspects related to Boseman and the grief related to his character were spot on and sandwiched the film in such a meaningful way, but the bread was better than the meat and the overall experience left me bored.

The Passenger

It’s hard to believe that the last McCarthy novel was The Road (it’s been sixteen years since its publication). I’m still only through the first third of this new entry but I’m grateful for the familiar prose and rhythms of one of my favorite living authors. For a writer who often explores subjects that are so unsettling, there’s something comforting about him revisiting us after all these turbulent years. He’s releasing a companion piece in December so this will be a happy holiday season for me.

I’m curious to hear, what entertainment are you enjoying these days?

• Punch Drunk Love review will appear on August 26

• One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest review will be on September 2nd

All The President’s Men (1976)

(Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman as Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein)

In years past I taught a film studies elective for high school students. It was a mixed-grade course with age ranges anywhere from fifteen to nineteen, which meant that their exposure to cinema varied too. For every introductory class, I would go around the room and ask students their favorite movie. This practice was not only a good ice-breaker and introduction to my students, but it helped me figure out the pathway for them to have a deeper knowledge of film. I remember one particular student proudly exclaiming that his all-time favorite movie was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. He wasn’t saying this ironically, it was a full-fledged endorsement of the Michael Bay experience. Though obviously a young and misguided soul, I immediately knew I had my work cut out for me to procure his salvation. I picked up my jaw from the classroom floor and went to work.

Great teachers beg, borrow, and steal to aid their instruction and as I taught film studies to a rotating group of uncivilized goons, I leaned more and more upon the 1976 motion picture, All The President’s Men. A few reasons, listed:

1. The first iteration of my film class was called American History Through Film and I tried to find as many “based on a true story” movies that I could find that would be both interesting and thought-provoking. It’s surprisingly difficult to find historical films that are more accurate than not, but All The President’s Men fit the bill.

2. All The President’s Men was rerated to PG after initially being rated R, due to its historical and cultural significance which would then release to a wider audience. There are many utterances of the word “fuck” and “ratfucking” and discussions of the pornographic film Deep Throat, which meant that the kids felt like they were getting away with something by watching it. Sometimes you have to figure out ways to get students engaged and this was mine! I’m not sorry.

3. Let me be honest in saying that my first showing of the film was like throwing cooked spaghetti on the wall. I had no idea if it would actually stick or not and in fact I suspected it wouldn’t. To my surprise, my students loved the film which meant that it was kept in the rotation for future offerings.

All The President’s Men tells the story of Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein’s investigation of the Watergate break-in and the subsequent discovery of the White House’s involvement in the crime, which led all the way to the resignation of President Richard Nixon. Based off Woodward and Bernstein’s 1974 book of the same name, and benefitting from their involvement in the movie (mostly, apparently Bernstein was not an easy collaborator), the film deftly captures the lengthy and laborious pursuit of sources, names, dates and corruptions. It is a story bereft of much music or action but full of people talking in offices, living rooms, patios, and parking garages. That may sound somewhat tedious on its surface, but what develops is an intriguing collection of scenes that crescendo into a gripping musical finale of typewriter clicks, spelling out the events that lead to Nixon’s fall.

(Pictured above, the real Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward)

The film’s plot is less focused on the major players and more on the young, then-unknown reporters tracking the story. It’s an investigation into investigations, really, and in many ways the audience acts as a third reporter in the film. We join along with “Woodstein” as they chase down leads and struggle with eyewitnesses who are being intimidated to not cooperate with the reporting. It’s a celebration of investigation too. “Follow the money” was a term coined by William Goldman for the screenplay and it has become common parlance since, but it has also created a mythos for how we think about and encourage journalism today. As we are all too familiar, what drives and sustains power is often tied directly to how power is funded.

But how and why does a movie like this stick with viewers? I think that what works for this film, oddly, is how deeply it digs into the minutiae of reporting. There are awkward phone calls, false and failed leads, miscommunications and confusions, all mixed with moments of relief and jubilation. Roger Ebert thought that All The President’s Men worked less as a movie and more as a study of journalism in itself. I don’t completely agree but I can see his point. Journalism is a process that the majority of us are unfamiliar with, due to the simple fact that most of our exposure is on the backend when the reporting is in print and more finalized. What we are given in All The President’s Men is a peak behind the curtain, it feels like we’re sitting amongst magicians sharing how they do their illusions and that’s an intriguing prospect.

Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffmann carry this film with brilliant acting and their embodiment of real life figures. We don’t learn much about either of the men other than the fact that Woodward is a Republican and that Bernstein hasn’t met a room where he can’t smoke. Even though they have differing journalistic styles, what they share in common is a dogged pursuit of the truth and a love for the chase itself. I think a worthy addition to this film could have included more backstory on the reporters and how this journey impacted them personally. It’s vital to know how reporting develops, but what does it do to those involved in the process?

(Jason Robards as Ben Bradlee, Washington Post Executive Editor)

What also works in the film is how Gordon Willis (cinematographer) and Alan J. Pakula (director) stage their interviews. The conversations feel real, stunted at times and flowing in others, all the while shot in mixtures of shadow and light. Not only are the intentions of interviewees murky but their surroundings literally cast shades of doubt on their retellings. What also fascinates me about this movie is the portrait of how a newsroom operates and of the employees who populate these spaces. Jack Warden and Martin Balsam are wonderful character actors cast in the editorial board (both of them also appeared around another table in the fantastic 12 Angry Men) and Jason Robards brilliantly portrays executive editor Ben Bradlee, who pushes the two lead reporters to craft a responsible story that readers could follow and trust. He also gets the single best line of dialogue:

“You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up... 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We're under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing's riding on this except the, uh, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I'm going to get mad.”

So, after all these years, does All The President’s Men matter? I would have to say a resounding yes and many of my former students would echo that sentiment. It’s perhaps trite to claim that there is more than enough corruption at the highest levels of power to sustain a wide variety of newspapers and news organizations, but we do need to emphasize and encourage a citizenry of readers armed a healthy dose of criticism. In the end, journalism doesn’t matter if there’s not an audience to wrestle with the reporting. We should also trust audiences to decipher the truth and approach it with wisdom, not just in terms of how they receive news but also our approach to entertainment in general, movies included. All The President’s Men trusts its audience to keep pace even if it requires some homework.

The lesson I have learned as a teacher is that students don’t always need constant excitement or a barrage of lights and sounds. What they need and crave is authenticity, support, and reliability. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be true. We often err when we conflate the two.

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“The greatness of Casablanca was largely the result of happy chance.” - Roger Ebert

(Spoilers below: if you haven’t watched Casablanca yet, please correct this mistake and then come back to read this review!)

We all love those moments when we can inform friends or coworkers about a hidden gem. It could be the newly opened restaurant that many haven’t tried yet, a streaming show that hasn’t caught traction, or a non-touristy recommendation for when one visits Chicago. We get so much joy out of these little tips we can offer one another, as if we discovered some treasure through expert sleuthing and our own gumption. But it can conversely feel dull to reiterate the brilliance of something that a majority of folks have already heard of or believe to be excellent already. Casablanca is a great film and you’ve no doubt heard it said before, you’ve most likely read its entry on top film listings, or perhaps you’re already a believer. The reality is that sometimes the best things are known entities, like Tom Brady or fresh McDonald’s fries, so while the novelty of the film may have worn off over time and repeated exaltation, we should continue to stand in awe of this great work.

However, it’s greatness was not expected. As Ebert mentioned in his review of the film and has often been reported after its production, Casablanca was not a planned success.1 The three main actors (Bogart, Bergman, Henreid) all complained about dialogue that felt hoaky and overly romantic. While working on the film, Bogart supposedly shared with Orson Welles that he was most likely in the worst picture he would ever make. The screenwriters were scrambling for plot points, the rare movie that was filmed in sequence because the following scenes were often being written day to day. Ilsa says to Rick at one point in the film, “I don’t know the finish yet”, and one has to believe that line’s inclusion was an inside joke amongst the writers. Even the play that Casablanca was based upon, Everybody Comes to Rick’s, never saw the light of day. You get the feeling that everyone involved was trying to get through this project rather than basking in the glory of what it would become.

But why and how has Casablanca stood the test of time? What makes this a legacy film that will continue to carry on past our own generation?

I imagine that part of the answer has to include the way in which these characters were written and acted. Most, if not all of them, are incredibly smart and witty. Everyone is at the ready with a quick comeback or play on words. They’re world-weary, all stuck in a sort of purgatory, and yet they seem to enjoy each other even when they’re turning on one another. Captain Renault (played by Claude Rains) plays the murkiest of all the cast as a corrupt official with a more noble heart underneath, and he absolutely gets the best lines in the film (and that’s saying something, because this is perhaps the most quotable movie of all time). It’s more than insinuated that he trades passage out of the country for sexual favors and yet he’s perhaps the most likable amongst this motley crew. Even the most seemingly monotonous character, Victor Laszlo, on repeated viewings becomes even more admirable in his role as a freedom fighter. He courageously leads the house band as they play "La Marseillaise" in defiance of the Nazis in the club, in what remains one of the most moving scenes in all of cinema. But he’s also more complex than what his surface presents, he doesn’t interrogate Ilsa about her relationship to Rick even though he obviously must be aware there is a history. He’s a noble character that won’t tolerate control on any level, even when it could jeopardize his relationship. Bogart and Bergman are excellent in their own rights, of course, figures amongst shadow and light that shroud their intentions while gradually showcasing their resolve. Birgman is a femme fatale but her intentions are honorable. Bogart is cool and collected, yet rattled and disoriented when his past and present collide. Everyone in Casablanca is hiding, not just from the authorities but from each other.

Another answer to this question might reside in the fact that there will always be something timeless about this story, for good and for ill. Casablanca came out in 1942 and we must be aware of how close its release follows the attack at Pearl Harbor. Rick, as a walking and talking metaphor for the United States, asserts that he will “stick his neck out for nobody”. This isolationist stance is noted as a “wise foreign policy” by Renault. But as the events of Casablanca unfold and we peel back the layers of Rick Blaine, we find that he can’t remain on the sidelines and be the best version of himself. He has to confront the evil of his day, even at personal cost. How is this film not relevant to our current situation? We have citizens extolling the virtues of an isolationist policy known as “America First”. We have wannabe fascists trolls rampant on social media, anti-democratic legislators in our own government dismantling our election processes, and in American cities we have witnessed marchers raise up Nazi flags once again. Casablanca is a reminder that the ideals of democracy and liberty will always need defending, that there will always be a fight. And a fight means building a coalition of surprising bedfellows. Casablanca offers the added insight that not all the fighters for liberty will be pure of heart or intention, that there will be partnerships with unsavory characters as we pursue a free society. The most sanctimonious of progressives will have to wrestle with this truth as well, that we all need allies that have also stood as our opposition. That’s what it is like to live in a community. It’s messy, it’s complicated, and yet it’s also oddly beautiful.

Rick: “Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Another enduring theme of Casablanca is simply that of love. And not merely romantic love, either, even though Rick and Ilsa are the emotional center of this film. We see friendship and loyalty exemplified when Sam refuses to leave a heartbroken and drunk Rick at the cafe. We see the way in which Ilsa cares, adores, and supports Victor even when she truly pines for Rick. We see it in the finale when Rick sacrifices his love of Ilsa for the greater cause, and finally when Renault refuses to turn Rick in for the murder of Major Strasser. “Round up the usual suspects!”, he says, and with that utterance a deeper bond is struck. Casablanca makes the case that love can push us to become better people, if we make the choice. You either become bitter or you become better, as the adage goes, but one must first opt to let go of resentments and wounds from the past.

Casablanca isn’t a perfect film by any means. Some plot points are clunky and from a technical standpoint, it didn’t reinvent the wheel. In many ways it’s a straight up action and drama flick with bits of noir added in for flavoring. But even if on the fly, the writing of this movie and the ways in which these characters are portrayed is impeccable. We know this to be true because we can repeat so much of the dialogue ourselves, not simply for their crispness but also for how they’re delivered:

• “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

• “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”

• “Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

• “What is your nationality? I'm a drunkard. That makes Rick a citizen of the world.”

• “And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart. That is my least vulnerable spot.”

• “Play it, Sam.” (and not “Play it again, Sam”, which is often misquoted)

Perhaps it is a cliché to state the greatness of Casablanca, but some clichés exist for a reason (which is also a cliché thing to say. So meta, I know). Regardless, it is a gem worth repeated viewings and continuous praise, even if it happened by mistake.

“Fuck her!”

The first line of dialogue in Promising Young Woman acts as a sort of stand in statement for most of the men in this film. And it’s not that they don’t pay attention to the women around them (in fact, they pay too much attention) , it’s simply that they disregard them as having full and meaningful existences outside of their purview. And it’s also not true that all the men in the film are completely awful, either (though most of them are). The real problem is that the majority of them think that they are much better than they are, or at the very least “nice enough”. They don’t see how their attitudes, actions, and assumptions play into a larger system of oppression for the women who share their world. Instead, they see themselves as different and distant from all that because they’re husbands, doctors, writers, fathers, deep, complicated, and they ask women if they’re okay before making their moves on them. The truth is they’re all more linked together and similar than they’d like to present themselves to be. They want to be seen as nice rather than actually being kind and loving people. There’s perhaps nothing more ominous in this movie than the question that many of the men ask Cassie, “Are you okay?”, because it betrays their real intentions.

One of the brilliant strokes of Promising Young Woman is that one could easily envision this as a type of reverse-horror film wherein Cassie becomes a stalker and killer of these men. But she’s not looking to create more victims, she’s here to enact confrontations and draw confessions. It’s a murder in its own way, a death of their ability to see themselves as innocent. The men confronted by Cassie can’t really believe themselves to be blameless after these encounters and in this way she lives out a vigilante existence in a corrupt world. In many ways she is a modern-day superhero, putting on a disguise and going out into the night to fight this rogues gallery of “nice guys”. Through this mission, she herself becomes a dark knight, a crusader, an avenger.

1. What are my initial thoughts after watching this time around?

• I absolutely love the title sequence after Cassie’s confrontation with Adam Brody’s Jerry. She walks down the street eating a jelly donut but the jelly has seemingly poured down her arm and is marked on her clothes. It jolts the viewer at first because we wonder if it’s blood instead. It’s a great and unsettling opening scene.

• Promising Young Woman reminds me a lot of 2011’s Drive, which coincidentally also stars Carey Mulligan. Both films feature a protagonist who mirrors a hero archetype in a modern setting full of violence. They’re also both heavily stylized and designed worlds with bright color palettes that contrasts with the heavy subject matter. Both include soundtracks that borrow heavily from recent time periods, Drive featuring a ton of 80s-inspired synth pop while Promising Young Woman borrows from the late 60s all the way into the late 90s and early aughts.

• I think the casting of this film is quite stellar from top to bottom, the choice of actors is thoughtful by playing against type. This is a film that knows its audience.

2. What makes this film stand out and what continues to resonate?

• Carey Mulligan’s performance. She’s always been a quality actor who makes conscious decisions her films, but here she takes center stage with such a complex role. She’s both determined and devastated, yet we see sparks of hope within her as well that are believable. We root pretty quickly for her character.

• Religious iconography - I’ve included a few stills from the movie where Cassie represents everything from an angelic being, to a Christ figure, and finally to a saint (there are multiple times in the film where she has a halo above or behind her). Does the symbolism represent how she sees herself? Is she an angel that protects or is she an angel of death? Does she reach a type of sainthood, with her mission accomplished, by the end of the film? Of course, these questions are directed more to the audience in order to analyze and answer rather than provided in the text.

• Color Schema - As mentioned previously, vibrant colors populate this film. Through a majority of the movie, Cassie is seen in pinks and deep reds, the latter representing her decisiveness and determination, perhaps also to symbolize the fiery passion that drives her crusade. The more she falls for Ryan, however, the colors begin to change. Ryan is often seen in greens and blues. As things appear to go well in their relationship, she adopts his dominant color by wearing a blue dress that also communicates a cooling down phase in her life. It’s in this moment that she is about to finally let go and embrace a “normal” existence. That will obviously change, and so too does the color scheme.

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3. Let’s get subtextual. What lies beneath this piece of art?

• This film was released a couple of years after the #MeToo movement created a renewed discourse around sexual assault and abuses of power. Emerald Fennell’s screenplay features poignant lines of dialogue that reflect attitudes that are held and spoken by many men today. They’re so outlandish that they’re almost comical, if they weren’t also so reflective of our reality.

  • Al Monroe: “It's every man's worst nightmare, getting accused of something like that.” (speaking about sexual assault). Cassie’s response, “Can you guess what every woman's worst nightmare is?”

  • Jordan (Monroe’s lawyer): “You know, I got a bonus for every settlement out of court. I got another bonus for every charge dropped. We all did. There was a guy... his only job was to go through all their social media accounts for any compromising information. He contacted old friends, past sexual partners. Oh, you'd be amazed how much easier it is now with the internet to dig up dirt. In the old days we used to go through a girl's trash. Now? One drunk photo at a party. Oh, you wouldn't believe how hostile that makes a jury.”

  • Joe, to Al (after he just killed Cassie): “This is NOT your fault!”

• A few questions I’ve been considering since I rewatched: Was Cassie successful in her mission? And was it an effective strategy? What were her initial goals and did they change over time? At the beginning of the film, it seems that she wants to create a confrontation and get these men to admit their wrongdoing. She scares them by warning them that this could happen again at any point if they attempt another transgression in the future (and that there could be worse consequences). But does that or will that change these men? Is it more important that their actions are deterred even if it doesn’t alter how they see women? When she discovers that Al Monroe is back in the U.S. and getting married, it appears to give Cassie a new opportunity to take a more systemic approach to the injustice that Nina suffered and so she goes after Monroe’s lawyer and Dean Walker. Fennell seems to be arguing that while it is important to go after the men who abuse, the entire system that enables these men to exist must also be taken down too.

• Fennell’s attention on forgiveness is also worth highlighting. Can abusers and enablers find a path forward, or at least a form of absolution, after all is said and done? It is an interesting detail that Cassie forgives Jordan but not Ryan. Jordan’s plea, as awkward and discomforting as it is, appears genuine. He’s a man racked with guilt by all of his profiteering and he begs Cassie for her forgiveness. Ryan, however, asks for forgiveness but ties it to his reputation and his work as a doctor. So many of the males in this movie want forgiveness but on their terms, in order that they can keep their jobs and families and reputations. It’s not at all about the harm they have caused and so these men continue to disregard the women in their lives as they did previously. Much of the dialogue in our society about people getting “cancelled” revolves more around the ability of abusers to return to normal rather than a reckoning of how they’ve destroyed the lives of others.

4. Interesting details and trivia about the film

• Promising Young Woman was nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Film Editing, and Best Actress at the 93rd Academy Awards (2020). It won for Best Original Screenplay.

• Director Emerald Fennell was the first female director to be nominated for a debut film.

• The title of the film most likely derives from the comment a judge made in the trial of Brock Turner, a Stanford student athlete who was convicted on three counts of felony sexual assault. Turner was given an extremely light sentence of six months after his conviction and the judge in the trial justified the sentencing because he considered Turner a “promising young man”.

• The toughest scene in the film is the death of Cassie at the hands of Alexander Monroe. Emerald Fennell asked her father-in-law, a retired police officer, how long it would take to kill someone by smothering them and he told her over two and half minutes. That is roughly how long the smothering scene lasts in the film.

• Many of the male actors cast in the film were deliberately chosen because they often played “nice guys” in prior tv shows and films.

• The film was originally supposed to end with Cassie’s death. I’m happy that it didn’t.

5. Final impressions and notes

• I think Bo Burnham gives a really strong performance here too. While most audiences will pick up on where his character will ultimately end up, it doesn’t necessarily make it any less devastating when it happens.

• Ending the movie with “Angel of the Morning” by Juice Newton is a nice touch and callback to Cassie’s role in the film. She’s an angel all right, just not one that you want to run into.

What do you think of Promising Young Woman? Share your thoughts!

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1. What are my initial thoughts after watching this time around?

2. What makes this film stand out and what continues to resonate?

3. Let’s get subtextual. What lies beneath this piece of art?

4. Interesting details and trivia about the film

5. Final impressions and notes

Thanks for reading along! Here we go…

The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, "OK, I'll be part of this world." - Sheriff Ed Tom Bell

1. What are my initial thoughts after watching this time around?

• Javier Bardem’s Anton Chigurh is still the most terrifying villain I have ever seen on film. I recall after my first viewing that I checked my bedroom and shower when I got home from the theater. I was 25 years old.

• This is also one of my all-time favorite performances by Tommy Lee Jones. He gets some of the best lines of dialogue but also expresses so well with his eyes and body language overall in this picture.

• I never knew that a dog swimming could be so terrifying.

• No Country For Old Men has so many parallels to the Coens’ earlier, comedic work in Raising Arizona: A seemingly unstoppable and evil bounty hunter, a husband taking a shortcut to accomplish their dreams, funny and awkward interactions with gas station attendants, and dry and harsh landscapes. Just to name a few.

• Sparse dialogue and minimal music means that the audience focuses much more on behaviors and actions, body language, facial expressions, and the surrounding environment.

• Do yourself a favor and watch every film in which Roger Deakins is the cinematographer. He’s truly a master of his craft.

• I love how this film transitions from scene to scene. The fading of one act bleeding into the next makes for a more reflective work of art. I’ve noticed that HBO’s Barry utilizes a lot of these transitions as well. It’s effective and works to unite the narratives.

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2. What makes this film stand out and what continues to resonate?

• I have always loved the extra characters in this film. They all feel lived in and real and complex and it is nearly perfectly cast (I know the Coen brothers were desperate for a bit of comic relief, but Carla Jean’s mom is a little over the top. Also, her character is supposed to be 58 years old. What?!). I especially want to highlight actor Kathy Lamkin, the trailer park manager. What a performance! I think more than any character in the film, she gives Anton Chigurh the most grief.

• This movie has less than sixteen minutes of music, but still has an amazing soundtrack. The real music is the collection of sounds that punctuate each scene: the crunching of boots on dried ground, the wind rustling through the open landscapes, creaking wood floors, the cocking of pistols, crackling food wrappers, and flies buzzing over dead bodies.

• This picture defied genre expectations. Is it a western? Neo-western? Noir? Gothic? A straightforward thriller? In some ways it represents all of these, shuns and subverts these conventions, and mixes them altogether. Who does this film belong to and is there a central character? Llewelyn seems to be for much of it and then is abruptly killed off-screen. I know the way in which he met his end bothered so many people, but it’s a master stroke to upend what we expect to happen. It corresponds exactly to a central message of the film. The mayhem cuts quick, hits deep, and doesn’t take into consideration our expectations or wishes.

  

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3. Let’s get subtextual. What lies beneath this piece of art?

• Two of my favorite films of the 21st century made their debut in 2007, There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men. Both examine intricately an obsession with violence and greed, speak realistically to our fragility, and expound truthfully on America’s more troubling values and traits. No Country For Old Men ended up winning Best Picture that year and I can’t say that it was an unjust victory (even though P.T. Anderson’s film might be my favorite of the two). What sticks with me now, fifteen years later, is how relevant this movie is to our present moment. We are in a world and country that is racked with violence and so many of us feel “overmatched”, to quote Ed Tom Bell. We are dumbfounded by witnessing these acts and we don’t have an answer or an approach that will stem the tide.

• No one gets away clean in this film, which is of course analogous to our own experiences in life. We may not all directly deal with the level of chaos that these characters find themselves in but we are all mired in the complexities of existence. A couple of times in the movie, characters speak about “what is coming”. The apocalyptic language insinuates that we can never deter or extricate ourselves from the chaos of the world. Even Anton Chigurh tries several times in the film to avoid the excesses of his violence: he moves the shower curtain to avoid the splatter from the gunshot, he places his feet on the bed to keep his boots clean from the spreading blood, he takes his bloodied socks off in a hotel room. But he can’t ever be truly clean and his car crash in the final act proves the point as he walks away from the accident with blood all over and a bone sticking out of his arm.

• Anton Chigurh is the most principled of this cast of characters in the sense that he lives by a specific philosophy and code. It’s a delusion, of course, as Carla Jean points out to him near the end of the film. Chigurh is not a vessel of fate or luck, he’s making particular choices and has legitimate agency. Carla Jean deftly challenges his personal ethos, noting that there isn’t some force of inevitability at play other than what he is creating himself. The most genuine and moral characters in the movie, Ed Tom and Carla Jean, are the people that feel the most lost, uncertain, and bewildered by their environment. Which speaks something to the effect that perhaps the most courageous and truthful way we can live in this world is to face it head on without believing that there will be a predictable outcome. Carla Jean does so by calling Chigurh on his illogical coin flip and Ed Tom does so by walking back into the last hotel room, knowing that Chigurh is most likely present. It appears that the only inevitability we can rely on is chaos, or hazard. We’re all souls at hazard in a universe that appears to be indifferent to our desire for peace. Ed Tom’s lament that God never entered his life reflects this mentality.

• Greed is something pervasive to us all on various levels. We may not become drug dealers or go on the run after discovering a satchel full of money, but the pursuit of riches often corrupts even in the smallest of moments: Llewelyn has to pay a group of college-aged guys to give him a jacket and a beer, even though he’s clearly wounded and covered in blood. Instead of being decent humans in a moment of vulnerability, they attempt to finagle more cash out of Moss in his time of need. The teenage boys who go to help Anton after his car wreck begin to squabble over the cash that he hands to the young man who donates his shirt. These smaller moments reflect a larger reality, that greed is born in small instances that can eventually lead to the worst of circumstances. They connect intricately to the overall story of greed that is playing out in the film. It’s another act of violence that bubbles to the surface.

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4. Interesting details and trivia about the film

• Interestingly enough, No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood shot scenes in the same area of West Texas at the same time. No Country actually had to shut down production for one day because clouds of dark smoke were rising into the sky because of pyrotechnics from the TWBB shoot.

• In the novel, Sheriff Bell says of the dope-dealers, "Here a while back in San Antonio they shot and killed a federal judge." Cormac McCarthy set the story in 1980. In 1979, Federal Judge John Howland Wood was shot and killed in San Antonio by Texas freelance contract killer Charles Harrelson, father of Woody Harrelson (Carson Wells).

• The case that held the money was the same case that was also used for the same purpose in Fargo.

• At this point in time, this was the longest runtime of a Coen brothers movie at 2 hours and 2 minutes. They know how to tell an efficient story and I wish more directors adopted this approach.

• Anton Chigurh’s kill count is fourteen.

• The three leads of this film never share any screen time together. Llewelyn and Chigurh have a shootout but never meet face to face. Carla Jean is the only character to interact with all three.

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5. Final impressions and notes

• The great lines of dialogue:

  • Man you hires Wells: “Just how dangerous is he?” (talking about Chigurh).

    Wells: “Compared to what? The bubonic plague?”

  • Ellis: “What you got ain't nothin' new. This country's hard on people. You can't stop what's coming. It ain't all waiting on you. That's vanity.”

  • Wendell: “You think this boy Moss has got any notion of the sorts of sons of bitches that're huntin' him?”

    Ed Tom Bell: “I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.”

  • Carla Jean Moss: “Sheriff, was that a true story about Charlie Walser?”

    Ed Tom Bell: “Who's Charlie Walser? Oh! Well... uh... a true story? I couldn't swear to every detail but it's certainly true that it is a story.”

• Woody Harrelson is also very good in this movie. It’s one of his more understated roles, but still solid.

• What always blows me away (no pun intended) about this movie is the final act. Whereas in the novel Ed Tom is the central character, in the Coen brothers film he eventually becomes the main figure over the course of the movie. His lament about his occupation and his inability to respond to the increased violence, his despair that God seems to be silent, and his descriptions of his dreams about his father are just so human and authentic. I remember my first watch of this movie was with my sister and when the movie cuts to black I told her, “That is how you end a movie!”. It’s a gut punch. She did not feel the same.

  

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That’s all, folks. Did you watch the movie? Rewatch it? What do you think?

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Hello!

I’m back and I’m switching things up a bit. I used to write twice a week on this website, but with a full time job and other happenings that is not sustainable right now. So instead I’ll be putting out a weekly Friday newsletter that features television, film, book, podcast and music reviews/recommendations followed by a longer piece of writing. I’ve also got an idea for a six-week series that you can participate in if interested: The Subtextual Healing Film Club! For the rest of July and August I’ll be rewatching a few films that I love (and are all currently streaming on HBO Max). Each Friday I’ll give a short review of the film with interesting notes and tidbits about how the movie got made plus other pieces of trivia, and a consideration of what makes the film great and why it’s worth watching. Whether you have watched any of these films or not, I hope you’ll consider joining along and checking out my writing afterward.

There’s no concrete theme to this series other than this is a selection of movies that I want to revisit and talk about with others. If you would like to “join the club” and participate in watching or rewatching these movies with me, here is the list for the next six weeks with calendar dates for the reviews:

1. No Country for Old Men (review on Friday, July 22nd)

2. Promising Young Woman (review on Friday, July 29th)

3. Casablanca (review on Friday, August 5th)

4. All the President’s Men (review on Friday, August 12th)

5. Punch Drunk Love (review on Friday, August 19th)

6. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (review on Friday, August 26th)

Again, please note that all of these movies are currently available if you subscribe to HBO Max. I tried to stick with just one streaming platform for those that already have it or others who want to test it out for a month or two (I know many folks hop around from month to month for various services).

What are the next steps?

(A) Watch these movies, preferably one a week and keeping up with the calendar. We’ll kick things off July 22nd with No Country for Old Men!

(B) Read each Friday film review and join the conversation either on the website or on social media. Feel free to comment, respond, or offer your own insights and reviews for each film.

(C) Share Subtextual Healing with others who might be interested in the film club!

The Bear (Hulu)

I’ll be honest, I’ve got a backlog of shows for this year alone and when I heard about The Bear I initially wanted to ignore it. Even though it has so many things I love that start with the letter C (cooking, chefs, characters, and Chicago), I wanted to keep my focus on the TV queue that I had already built up (there’s just too much good television on right now). But I gave in after hearing and reading so many reviews and I will now simply add to the bandwagon by saying that this is a must watch, folks. With 8 episodes at 30 minutes a pop, it’s actually somewhat of a breeze to get through but I will warn you that there are episodes that are wildly intense. While it’s not for the faint of heart, it will do your heart some good. Also, a wonderful soundtrack with one of the best needle drops in the season finale.

Stranger Things (Netflix)

Who knew that Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” would provide such an apt metaphor for the show’s fourth season? While this outing put forth interesting new characters and provided a few of the original cast with well-developed character arcs, it also felt quite bloated in parts. Getting through the last two episodes that comprised Volume 2 was like running up a hill in of itself. The overly long conversations and extended action scenes could have used tighter editing. Stranger Things is a nostalgia churn, but the thing this show has usually done best is cast and showcase young actors who audiences instantly like or relate to, though sadly a few of the members had very little to do this season (the Mike /Will/Jonathan/Argyle group was a mostly pointless subplot). Overall, it was still a very strong series and I look forward to the fifth and final (and hopefully truncated) season to wrap it all up.

Hustle (Netflix)

Hustle isn’t going to surprise you with its story. It’s fairly conventional and you’ll pretty much be able to predict what will happen in each scene. That said, it’s still an enjoyable movie and Adam Sandler once again impresses with another turn to dramatic acting. This is also the rare basketball movie that portrays the game more accurately and it’s loaded with tons of current and former NBA and international players, which makes for a fun type of easter egg hunting as you watch. And by no means do you need to be a basketball (or sports fan in general) to enjoy this one, it’s basically Rocky with a basketball backdrop instead. You will inevitably root for the underdog!

Slow Burn: Roe v. Wade (Slate Podcasts)

Slate has dug deep into a wide range of intriguing topics with their podcast series, Slow Burn. Past seasons have focused on the historical events and legacies of Watergate, the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, Tupac and Biggie, and more. What I have always appreciated about this podcast series is its ability to take subjects that we all are familiar with and think we know well and add so much more context and nuance to them. Slow Burn: Roe v. Wade continues this streak and adds many more moments, layers, and legal history that I wasn’t as knowledgeable of beforehand. It’s a weighty topic and no matter where you fall on the spectrum of the issue, I think it’s worth a listen to hear more stories and perspectives that you may have not interacted with previously.

As I’ve mentioned previously, life is quite busy in April and May as the school year closes out and so my writing takes a back seat. I’m hoping to write much more this summer and that I get a backlog going in order to have consistent writing out there from here on out. Thanks for being here.

The last couple of weeks have been wild, tragic, and incomprehensible for our country. Mass shootings have dominated the American landscape and the feeling of rage and hopelessness persist in the hearts of many, because while the majority of us know that something needs to change we are all too familiar with the political and national dialogue and the cycles that persist after each of these acts of violence. As someone who works in education and lives in Tulsa, the recent events of the last weeks have become even more personal. Mass shootings, even though they shouldn’t feel this way, often seem distant. You read stories and see the images of victims and perhaps you hear intriguing details about their lives before the violence was committed upon them, but in all actuality it still feels far away. But as these events continue, the reality of the violence encroaches us. It’s so close to us all, in fact, and it always was. You can be in a church, at a school, in a hospital building and then all of a sudden everything changes. Last week I was dining with colleagues to celebrate the end of our school year, and while we laughed and reflected together, I had the persistent worry that at any point someone could walk into that pub and take everyone out. It can be that quick and it is that terrifying.

Another cycle that persists after these incidents is the online bickering which often builds toward a pernicious binary reaction: thoughts and prayers vs. policy and change. A lot of social media conversation, as we know, is made up of black-and-white and either/or thinking. We all are experiencing and feeling so much right now, and to some degree, I also want to respect the variety of emotions and processing that my friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances are experiencing right now. Call it a generous orthodoxy if you will, but I think we can offer our best thoughts and prayers while also making concrete policy and societal change at the same time. With that said, here are some thoughts and prayers I am offering right now, because I too and struggling to process what is going on in this moment. Please note that I’m not looking to create arguments here, I’m just trying to deal with what I’m experiencing on a now daily basis. To borrow a phrase from the late Michelle McNamara, “It’s chaos. Be kind.”

Some thoughts…

• Thought: Life is already difficult, do we have to make our existence even more arduous? If we have options to ease the pain and suffering of ourselves and others, why can’t we just commit to making that happen in our cities, states, and country? The stats are out there, and while it won’t curb all shootings, there is tangible proof that outlawing certain weapons, increasing background checks and other approaches can and will work.

• Thought: What does “pro-life” even mean any more?

• Thought: It’s been questioned by many others previously, but is arming teachers really an answer to mass shootings? Many districts and schools don’t give teachers codes to the printers but you want to give them stripped-down training and then a firearm for the classroom? Let’s think about the logistics for one minute here: Where will these guns be housed at the beginning and end of the day? What about when, inevitably, a gun is fired on a student or colleague accidentally or on purpose? I love teachers, that should be obvious, but by my estimate only about 57.8% of them know how to work a projector and/or computer successfully on most days, but yes let’s also give them a dangerous weapon to operate too. What happens when a student eventually gets a hold of one of those guns?

• Thought: Schools, often like houses of worship and even hospitals to an extent, are meant to be institutions of growth, development, healing, and solace. They are not forts, they are not storages for munitions, they are not structures of defense. Now that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t address enhancing security issues and whatnot, but there is a fundamental difference and feel when a larger amount of weapons and police presence are introduced into an environment. How much harder will it be to learn and grow in a place that is full of anxiety and fear?

• Thought: Prayers are obviously not changing the trajectory of this problem. This is not meant to be a dig at or discouragement to prayer as an action because I think, like meditation, prayer can reset the person and people practicing rather than changing a particular external outcome. So I’m okay with thoughts and prayers being sent out into the world, let’s just stop pretending that it is actually altering the situation we’re in. I think a healthy belief in divinity is accompanied by a corresponding belief in that divinity handing agency to humans. And if humans were given this power by an outside force, then we should utilize our intellect, skills, talents, and efforts to constructive solutions instead of praying for the change to arrive outside of ourselves.

• Thought: Instead of the usual binaries that get drawn up in these conversations, let’s realize that this is a complex issue and will require many different approaches in tandem. That means we can address mental health issues, gun legislation, community outreach, school funding, security enhancement, systemic racism, etc. together instead of seeing them as competing issues.

With that said, here are some of my prayers…

• I pray that our children don’t have to live in a country where they are supremely valued at their birth and secondarily valued as they are raised toward adulthood.

• I pray that we can stop politicizing children (from all political perspectives) and can strategically fund and support every level of development of their intellectual, mental, physical, and spiritual lives.

• I pray that we can be repentant to each other. That we can acknowledge the historical pain and harm that we have caused one another, that we can be truly remorseful and that we can offer our best futures to one another.

• I pray that we stop defining ourselves by platitudes and instead contribute tangible actions that benefit our present and build toward a more holistic future.

• I pray that people, myself included, realize that we don’t win by posting the best Instagram infographic or meme, but instead become healthier by having nuanced dialogue and a generosity of spirit with those that think differently from us.

• I pray that the children and young adults experiencing this trauma don’t become cynical but are instead spurred to action in their local communities.

• I pray that we become people less attracted to power, especially in the realm of politics.

• I pray that we can excommunicate ourselves from this cult of death and instead create communities of hospitality and care for “the other”.

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But we all know that any public space and any gathering of people will have awkward moments and disruptions. Us humans already had a difficult time sitting still and focused for over two hours and the pandemic has only made that worse. I’ve been to the movies a handful of times in the past two years, mostly out of safety precautions but also with a large dose of apprehension around re-entering a space where I start to dread our collective existence and the futility of our species. But then it occurred to me that perhaps we need a new set of guidelines, an agreed-upon list of expectations around what it looks like to go to a movie theater. Of course, I have no authority and very few people will read this, but I invite you to share in my common cause of theater respectability. Here are the rules as followed:

1. Have your list of desired snacks and beverages at the ready when you approach the cash register. Concession stands, especially in movie theaters, are notoriously long and slow. For some reason, even after having ten minutes while in a queue to decide what they want, people often wind up at the counter acting as if they’ve never seen a menu before. We all know what is there, come prepared.

2. Arrive on time. Treat it like an important meeting and be there 15 minutes early. If it were up to me, people wouldn’t be allowed in once the movie started. If you missed it, you better hope there are available seats for the next showing.

3. You get one opportunity to get up during the screening. With this one shot you get to go to the bathroom, get a refill, send a quick text, etc. But that is the max. If you need to get up more than once within a 2-3 hour period, on demand movies at home is your bag.

4. A person can visit with their friend(s) while the commercials are on, even during the trailers (though this should be limited), and absolutely no conversation while the movie is playing. We should all pretend we are riding on public transportation. No eye contact, just look straight ahead. It’s that simple.

5. This should go without saying, but turn your phone to silent. If it rings multiple times, you just need to pack your stuff and go home in shame. We should be able to throw popcorn at you on the way out too. Before you call me a Pharisee, I’m okay with people having their phones in the cup holder (which is what I typically do) or on the arm rest and I’ve even shot a quick text to someone in an emergency. But anything beyond that is bad behavior.

6. If you do get up in a theater, and especially one with chairs that recline, it is your responsibility to maneuver through the aisle and exit quietly. Please don’t inconvenience the rest of us who are being responsible stewards of the theatrical experience.

7. You don’t get to ask questions/make comments about the movie. This may appear like deeper engagement, but just stop it. “Who is that guy? Do you think she did it? I don’t understand why they’re going down that alley-way!” My guess is that most of your questions will be answered by the end of the film and if not, there’s always Google afterward.

8. Please don’t bring kids to movies that are not children’s movies. I don’t feel like I should have to explain this one either. There are plenty of options at home with streaming and on-demand. If you can’t get a sitter, that doesn’t mean they get to come with you. That means movie night at home.

9. Feel free and encouraged to gasp, awe, laugh, cry, and make all kinds of faces. I truly believe in getting lost in the experience, just don’t make it cumbersome for those around you.

10. Lastly, there’s no need to clap at the end of a movie. This may seem like a direct refutation of my last point, but here’s why it’s not: The emotional process of a film is about how we internalize it, and sometimes that has a physical expression, which is great. Clapping is meant to applaud and recognize someone else, specifically the creators of an artistic piece. Unless you are at a screening where they are present, why are you clapping?

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Will you join my cause? Would you add more expectations? Am I going too far? You can let me know, but I’m standing by my list.

Also, support your local cinema. We’ve got a great one here in Tulsa, Circle Cinema. I’ll be on my way there soon.

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5/10/2020

We’re about two months into this pandemic and time of Covid-19. Life feels listless quite often, and while I’ve been busy with the end of this school year, I often find myself mentally distracted. It’s hard to do simple things such as reading or even watching television. My mind jumps and I’m coursing through the past, present, and future all at once. It’s becoming difficult to exercise and take walks because everything feels daunting. I’ve been productive in spurts, getting stuff done at our new house, unpacking, small beautification projects. I also have this lingering feeling like I could be doing more. It seems kinda odd, but it’s hard even to relax right now.

5/12/2020

One of the better decisions I’ve made in the last couple of days is to start meditating. My mind is a jumbled mess on many days, so trying to center and focus through rest and concentration has been good. Meditation is incredibly hard work though. A good metaphor I’ve learned recently is to treat thoughts with a volume dial. You may not completely turn it on mute, but you can work to lower the noise.

5/14/2020

The news continues to be dire with headlines such as “Coronavirus May Not Go Away” and recent spikes in projected death tolls. A hard part of existence is trying to build routines and calm while encountering random bits of news that simply rattle you.

5/22/2020

Emily and I took a short road trip to Claremore and Catoosa (saw the Blue Whale, of course) and then we dropped by The Golden Driller upon our return to Tulsa, which has been Musk-ed. Tesla is hinting that they might open their Cybertruck factory here though I think that is doubtful. Our city is currently in the She’s All That phase, taking off our glasses to try and prove to our suitors that we’ve been hot the whole time. We’ve got Sixpence None the Richer on blast and we’re walking in high heels to court anyone who will notice us. It’s sad.

5/24/2020

I’m disheartened by the constant complaining, bellyaching, and whining of others. Criticism isn’t the same as complaint by the way. Criticism is there to articulate how things can be better, it can have a hopeful and constructive approach. The pandemic is not an excuse to be an asshole. A crisis is an opportunity for us to be better, to love each other more truly and with increased grace. Anxiety abounds but we can still reorient ourselves to healthy and fixed practices.

6/17/2020

I’m tired, mentally. Between the pandemic, the racism, the terrible people who bother Emily at her store and flout ordinances and masking and are openly hostile toward her… the hatefulness of it all. Sometimes it feels like too much, as if we don’t know any other posture other than fear and exclusion. I’m trying to wrap my head around it, but I’m not meant to understand it. It’s insanity.

6/26/2020

Yesterday was one of those news-dominated days that punches you in the gut and continues with multiple jabs in the kidneys and constant uppercuts. Federal aid for testing is soon to end, the CDC is saying that potentially 20 million people may be infected, and that is followed by highest one-day total of confirmed cases in the United States. New theories include that age may not be the indicator of severity it was once thought to be. Scary.

I’m stubbornly optimistic though. Hell, we aren’t promised anything in this life. I have breath today, I know some of the best people on the planet, I have a home and a lovely partner, I get to read great books and listen to music and there is alcohol! I’ve always appreciated the words of Socrates in this moment, that it is false wisdom when we feign knowledge about death. We fear it, but we don’t actually know what it leads to. It’s hard to live that out sometimes, but in reality none of us know for sure what, if anything, awaits. It may not be a thing to fear, even though it is a tragedy for the living. Our lives are determined by both loss and provision. I also appreciate the Hebrew scriptures in the moment, that we must accept both of these realities together and for what they are. Perhaps I’m just rambling now…

I need to return to meditation, I’ve stopped as of late. I need to write more too. Read a ton and write a ton. Treat it like a full-time job and if I don’t pursue it with gusto then I need to move on. I’m going to give this writing thing another shot. I’ve been a pretend writer for a long time now, being sporadic and listless. If this is actually going to be a part of my life, then I need to make it happen.

This is just a brief sampling of thoughts that represent many, many pages of journaling. There are darker moments and more pointed political thoughts that I’m not ready to share in this space just yet, but I hope this writing communicates just how bewildering this experience was and still is. At varying degrees, we all struggled to make it through this crisis and a part of me wants to celebrate that we’re still here. We obviously can’t say that for everyone and for many of us too it is important to point out that our struggle may not have been as intense as others due to a host of factors. But that also doesn’t negate the experience either. My hope is that we’ve all put our lives and existence in perspective and can come out of this with healthier practices and a more loving approach to ourselves and others. Maybe that is wishful thinking, but it’s better to live from that mental starting point.

If you want to share some reflections about your time during this early stage of the pandemic, please feel free to comment, reach out directly, etc.

Peace…

For those of you unaware, my real job is as an administrator at a public school in Tulsa. Every week, our leadership team gathers and we always begin with a starter question to kick off our meeting. While these are often light-hearted ice breakers, the most contentious discussions we ever have as a group is when the beginning question is food-related. I’ve learned over time that people hold their food opinions very near and dear.

That being said, I decided that I need to share some food opinions here and I am ready for the backlash, the pretentiousness, the pearl-clutching, etc. Here are a few of my food opinions to get us started:

• The best thing to dunk your fries in is a well-crafted combination of ketchup and mustard. Not too sweet and not too tangy. You’re welcome for this tip.

• Can we as a society stop applying the word “foodie” to people? It basically just means someone who likes to eat, which is about 98.7% of humanity. It’s more appropriate to remark about someone being a “non-foodie”.

• I’ve got a wide appreciation for all levels of coffee-making. While I often go to local places like Topeca and DoubleShot in Tulsa that have this process down to a craft, for a quick cup McDonald’s is a pretty solid choice.

• Pizza is also something I appreciate along the spectrum of offerings: I can do a Tony’s frozen pizza, Little Caesars, and Tulsa’s local options like Umberto’s and Andolini’s. There is no need for judgment, all are welcome.

• I’m ready for a revolution: We think we need to stand up and refute the inclusion of raisins in just about everything.

• Mayonnaise should be used and incorporated in small amounts. I think a hint of mayonnaise is appropriate. When I see it slathered on sandwiches liberally, my gag reflexes are initiated . Also, can someone tell me the difference between aioli and mayonnaise or is it just a new term created by foodies?

• Can we please stop trying to assign genders to particular drinks? I am a forty-year old man who can appreciate both a strong, nuanced bourbon and a frozen, sugary margarita.

• We’ve gone a little overboard with avocados, people. Yes, they are good. No, they don’t need to be on everything.

• If you like to talk about how much you hate the taste of soda, you are a sad person and you are no different than the folks who used to brag that they didn’t own a television. I also don’t believe you.

• You’re up next. What are your food opinions?

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Watching | Reading | Listening

• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has a few thoughts about Winning Time. There are some valid critiques here (but I’m still watching and enjoying it…)

• My wife is a bookstore manager for one of our local B&Ns. This is a good piece about their comeback and how they actually can be an assist to local bookstores: How Barnes & Noble Went From Villain to Hero

• This is a couple of weeks old but Donald Glover “interviewed” himself and things got a little weird, as expected.

Pachinko (Apple TV+) - Apple continues a dominant year with this generation-spanning epic set across Korea, Japan, and the United States. It also features some of the best cinematography to be on the smaller screen in quite some time. I’m only a couple of episodes in but I think this could be one of the year’s best.

Outer Range (Amazon Prime) - I’m also only a couple of episodes in on this show and there’s a lot of mystery left to unspool. It’s No Country for Old Men x Yellowstone x Leftovers x LOST and some other stuff! It has a solid collection of actors in it but I honestly need it to pick up the pace. Amazon is also debuting two episodes per week, which is an interesting release model.

Barry (HBO Max) - After three years, one of the best shows on television is back. This past Sunday saw the return of Barry! Oklahoma doesn’t have a lot to be proud of right now socially and politically, but on the creative front we are killing it. Bill Hader (born and raised in Tulsa) has created a dark, funny, and thrilling series and is one of the few shows that doesn’t have a long enough running time. Everything I’m reading from critics with advanced screeners say that this season is even better than the first two.

South to America (Imani Perry) - I recently started this book that flirts with a lot of differing writing styles as it is part-historical reflection, part-journalism, part-memoir, and more. Perry visits various towns and cities of the South and creates a document of appreciation, criticism, and internal/external exploration that is both moving and haunting. I’ve really enjoyed it thus far.

Armchair Expert (Spotify) - I’ve never been much of a Dax Shepard fan, as far as acting goes, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this podcast. I like the mix of having celebrities and leaders in various fields come on to discuss their work and also their personal perspectives. I also find Shepard to be a good interviewer with thoughtful questions and without the constant need to interrupt to offer his own opinions (looking at you, Pete Holmes).

Sidebar: I wonder how much longer we’ll refer to these creations as “television shows” even though many are now streamed on phones, tablets, and laptops. My dad used to refer to shoes as “sneakers”, which covered a multitude of types and a multitude of sins if you are the fashion police. But here we are and television is in quite good shape these days.

Let’s explore this year’s best, thus far…

10. Righteous Gemstones (HBO Max, season 2)

After an uneven first outing, I became a full-fledged convert in the second season. Kelvin basically created his own Power Team, Judy became the funniest character on the show, and Walton Goggins as “Baby” Billy is a treasure. If you need the cathartic feeling of laughing at religious shenanigans, this might be your fix. I’m naming and claiming this show as one of the year’s best.

9. Ozark (Netflix: season 4, part 1)

I can’t tell if Ozark’s fourth season is that good or if I’m just excited to see how this all ends. Either way, I finished part 1 in about two days earlier this year and I was ready for more immediately. Luckily, we don’t have to wait long as part 2 is coming out in late April. I’m not a binger by trade but somehow Ozark has sunk its teeth into me. If you haven’t watched this show yet but have heard it’s like Breaking Bad, I would mostly concur with the exception that just about everyone on this show is terrible.

8. Slow Horses (Apple TV+, season one)

I wrote about this show recently so I won’t delve much further in but to say that if you like Gary Oldman, British spycraft, and government conspiracy, then this is your bag. It’s most assuredly in mine.

7. Abbott Elementary (ABC/Hulu, season 1)

You’ve probably heard the pitch, “Abbott Elementary is The Office, but set in a public school”. No doubt that is somewhat true but there’s a lot more there. First, as a former Teach For America alum, I can confirm that Jacob’s character is painfully accurate. Second, I simply love the way this show loves the community of this school. It would be easily understandable to make some of the characters into caricatures, but there’s a lot of depth and nuance here and I always appreciate that effort in the writing. I’m looking forward to more seasons!

6. Pachinko (Apple TV+, limited series?)

Speaking of being way too early to judge something… I am only two episodes in on this but it feels like I can trust the creators to keep making something truly spectacular. I also trust that this ranking will move up by the end of the year. It’s a generation-spanning and multinational story that is exquisitely shot, directed, and acted. Unlike my desire to burn through the anxiety-inducing Ozark, Pachinko is a slow burn worth savoring and meditating upon.

5. Atlanta (FX/Hulu, season 3)

I’ll admit that this season of Atlanta has taken me more time to embrace, but it’s also led me on more rabbit holes than previous entries, so that’s something. Donald Glover and team are still making magic and I’ll always be awed by the mastery, wondering how they pulled off all the tricks.

4. Winning Time (HBO Max, season 1)

There are a few legit gripes about why this show strays so far into fiction when the facts are incredible on their own, but this series has continued to gather steam with each new episode. While painted with broad strokes at times, Winning Time feels made for many of my interests. It’s also the rare sports portrayal that actually gets the playing of it right. That’s not an easy accomplishment, apparently.

3. Somebody Somewhere (HBO Max, season 1)

If you want something almost completely different than Winning Time, I would offer giving Somebody Somewhere a shot instead (pun intended). While Winning Time is glamorous and sexy, Somebody Somewhere gets deep down into the nitty gritty of life and reminds us that while it’s often not pretty, there’s plenty of gems left to find.

2. Station Eleven (HBO Max, limited series)

While it premiered mid-December 2021, the series officially ended in 2022 so I’m counting it! I don’t want to describe this show too much, but I will just say that it took a few turns I was not expecting and I was delighted by almost all of them. It’s a show that is written with care and love for its characters and there’s really something just sweet and beautiful about that fact. If you’re going to make time for a few shows this year, I would highly recommend making sure you catch this one.

1. Severance (Apple TV+, season 1)

Imagine mixing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a lighter version of Black Mirror, and the mysteries of LOST all into one show. That is Severance. The cast includes Adam Scott, John Turturro, Patricia Arquette and Christopher Walken, and many of the episodes are directed by Ben Stiller. Some might critique the pacing of this series but that didn’t bother me in the slightest and the season finale is one of the best I’ve seen in recent memory.

All right, folks. That’s my unjustified attempt at a top ten list for the year in April. With a glut of shows still left to arrive in 2022, I have no doubt this list will change.

Happy watching!

“So are you all watching anything good lately?”

There might be something offered at first that everyone is watching. Inevitably, you get enough people joining this discussion that you will then find someone who is watching something that you haven’t watched yet. And they will let you know how much you are missing out by not watching said show. It could be that the show came out last week or it could be twenty years ago. But you are living a very incomplete life until you watch this particular show. That is, until you are missing the next big show two months from now when you’re at another party (but really at the rate things are coming out now you’ve got about a week, tops). And here’s the thing, there’s been times where I’ve nodded my head and pretended I watched this show too because in today’s world, to admit you haven’t watched something is the equivalent of being a caveman trying to make fire with twigs in a cave. Hell, I’ve outright lied and said I watched something when I hadn’t at all because I didn’t want to be a social pariah.

This happens with more than just television too. There are people seemingly waiting to pounce on you for what you are missing out on. But let’s please break free of this entertainment shaming, friends. There is simply too much to watch, read, listen to, etc. at our disposal and not enough time. We have to make choices and some things will be left on the cutting room floor. Or perhaps they’re just shelved in hopes that one day we’ll pick them back up. There’s no need for shame here, so I’m going to share some of my entertainment blind spots so we (or really just me, let’s be honest here) can start to break free of these ridiculous cycles. There are plenty more, but here’s some “egregious” misses that I currently have:

1. Better Call Saul. I’ve watched 2-3 episodes max. I also don’t believe you all who say this has surpassed Breaking Bad.

2. I didn’t finish The Wire. Okay, that one hurt to admit. I have half of season four and all of five to finish. I plan to correct this sin during the summer.

3. West Wing. I really like the episodes I have watched, but it’s just something I will have to come back to at some point.

4. Musically, I have a lot of gaps: Prince, Radiohead, Rolling Stones, David Bowie just name a few. I want to give these artists more of a look soon.

5. Specific writers: Jane Austen, James Joyce, and honestly Shakespeare. I’ve read a few of his works, but not enough probably.

6. At some point I’m going to carve out a day and watch Lawrence of Arabia but that day has not yet come.

7. I have never watched Ghostbusters all the way through…

So again, there’s way more than that but I can’t think of them all and I’m tired of thinking about it. I just need to get those off my chest. I am curious though, what are your blind spots?

Remember, this is a safe space…